He was glad to have made it out of the room without losing his face or his temper. Sure, it was a generous offer, him attending the police academy, becoming Jim’s partner for real. But that wouldn’t change a thing. Jim didn’t trust him and nothing he’d do would change that. Even if they could overcome the obstacles of him being an admitted fraud, how could he work with Jim, knowing that the sentinel would expect him to betray him, to fail? In the beginning, Jim had been understanding, had forgiven him his mistakes. But that had changed. He wasn’t able to pinpoint the exact time when their relationship had changed, but after his screw-up with Alex Barnes it had become painfully obvious. Blair was well aware that he wasn’t innocent of the debacle, he had made jokes about fame, fortune and movie rights, assuming that Jim understood that he was kidding as well as he understood whenever Jim was joking with him. And why shouldn’t he assume that Jim knew? Everyone ever told him that he was an open book, easy to read. Well, it seemed that Jim was illiterate concerning one Blair Sandburg.

Blair slowed down his car and stopped at the park. His concentration was elsewhere but on the road. He left the car and took place on a bench under a yew tree. The place seemed to be oddly appropriate. Yew trees represented death and his life was over, maybe not as final, but it hurt too damned much to call this kind of existence living. So, what was he to do with his life? Running away, looking for a job elsewhere, hoping they wouldn’t have heard about him there? Or stay here and do what? Trying to find a job at McDonald’s or Wonderburger’s? Or – taking Simon’s offer? Could he become a cop? Could he deal with seeing Jim every day, knowing how the other man felt about him, working with the sentinel and pretending everything was fine? That would be hard. Very hard. But he had never run away, never avoided hard work. And if it didn’t work out, he could leave anytime. So, what would that mean for him? Self-defence. Well, that was not a bad idea, considering his ability to find trouble. Okay, no problem with self-defence. Next. Weapons. Shoot a weapon, aim to kill. He did that already. He hadn’t liked it, but he had been able to do it. But could he do it for a life? Getting up every morning, knowing that he would carry a weapon, that he would shoot at someone if the need would arise? He had no answer to that question. Okay, stop thinking about it, meditate about it later. Next point. Hair cut. That was nothing compared to the last question. Hair would grow back. And short hair would be practical. Okay, he looked like a dork with short hair, but that was something he could live with easily. What else? Being Jim’s partner. Proving himself to the man on a daily basis, dissipate Jim’s fear of betrayal again and again and again. Granted, that meant more stress, but at least he would only work one job then, so he could deal with it. But being Jim’s partner also meant spending twenty-four/seven with the man and that he couldn’t do anymore. While he was a student his hours at the university had given them a bit distance from each other. But now? Working with Jim and living with Jim, that sounded claustrophobic. No, he needed an own apartment. With what money? His student loans were heavy and he wouldn’t be dept-free for a long time.

Okay, so he had two problems. Carrying a weapon and trying to afford a place to live. The latter problem he could solve with a second job. He did that before, so it should be no problem. But the first problem was the real bummer. He had acted against his conscience before, played along with the university politics when all he wanted to do was screaming from the top of his lungs. Surely he could do that again. Daily? Maybe carrying the weapon around when he was off-duty, too, like Jim did? Hell, no! His free time would belong to him, and only to him. Okay, he could do that. For a while.

Resolution made, he headed to the loft. Jim was there, hovering near him, clearly wanting to talk but not daring to start it. Blair couldn’t blame him for his hesitation; he wasn’t giving off the best vibes. So, he sat down on the couch, waiting if Jim would join him. He did. And he even started to talk.

”So, Chief, did you make a decision?”

That surprised Blair. It shouldn’t have, Jim was a sentinel and if someone would be aware of his conflict, it should be Jim. But he hadn’t really thought that Jim would care. Blair knew that he had overreacted to the events of the last few days. Hadn’t he written about Jim’s fear-based responses? So why had the sentinel’s reaction surprised him so much? It would have hurt anyway, but he should have been prepared for such a response of the older man.

”Yeah, I did. I’ll take Simon’s offer.”

Jim smiled brilliantly.

”That’s great, Chief! It will be great, being real partners. And I’m sure we can dodge the haircut. Maybe we could convince them that you’ll need the long hair for undercover jobs.”

”That won’t be necessary. It’s time for a change.”

Inwardly, he winced at his choice of words. Time for a change. A change. Like he didn’t have enough of them lately. Jim’s expression was pained, too.

”Really, Jim, it's okay. Might be a good thing to change my appearance a bit.”

Really great rescue. He didn’t want to make Jim feel guilty, but somehow everything he said sounded bitter. He studied the sentinel’s face. Yes, direct hit. Damn.

”You know what I mean. It’s a new start and you can ask every hairdresser in town, it’s a fact that a woman changes her hairstyle radically when she makes a change in her life. So, why not me? Naomi taught me to be in touch with my feminine side. And no, Jim, you won’t comment my last sentence, will you?”

”Me? Never. You know I’m a sensitive guy.”

”Cute, Jim, really cute. But seriously, I’ll save a fortune in shampoo and conditioners.”

The older man nodded at that, seriously. Blair could see that Jim still wasn’t happy with his decision, but he respected it. Good, that was a step in the right direction. Maybe this whole thing would work out after all.

”Okay, Chief. What would you think about a few days of vacation? Simon and I want to spend a few relaxing days in Simon’s cabin.”

”So soon? Do you think you’re up to it? Simon can barely walk!”

”You don’t know his cabin. It’s more luxurious than the loft. And besides, we were kind of hoping you would take care of us.”

Blair grinned, but shook his head. He needed to be alone for a few days.

”Sorry, Jim, I can’t. There are a lot of things I need to take care of. Student loans and other stuff. Maybe you find another babysitter.”

”We could go later and I help you with your stuff.”

Blair shook his head again, more forcefully this time.

”No, you two go along. There’s nothing you can help me with, really. It’s mostly paperwork. Nothing I can’t deal with.”

Jim looked doubtful. He would have to understand that Blair was an adult, capable of doing his own decisions. Finally he nodded, looking a little bit defeated.

”Okay, Chief. But it won’t be the same without you.”

”There will be other times. The Academy won’t start for the next three month, right? And you and Simon have a lot of vacation time assembled. It will be a lot warmer, too, if I accompany you next month or so.”

Jim seemed to accept that. He went upstairs to pack his bag for their little trip. Blair went back into his room and started to tackle the papers he had to fill out. He stayed inside his room, nodded at Jim’s goodbye and mumbled a reply to the sentinel, and swallowed his relieved sigh when he was finally alone. Jim would stay away for five days and he could use the time to get his life back under control. Thankfully, Naomi had disappeared after the cozy little scene in the bullpen to process her emotions towards her son becoming a policeman. Sure, she had been supportive and smiling when Simon offered him the badge, but when the two of them had been alone, she hadn’t looked at him. He didn’t know if it was guilt or disappointment, and frankly, he didn’t care. He had his own emotions to deal with and could use some time away from her. He had forgiven her of course, she was his mother after all, but looking at her brought back his feelings of frustration. When he had told her not to read his dissertation he had thought that he could trust her. But she decided to treat him like a child, unable to know what was best for him. Half of his life he spent as an adult, responsible for his actions and making his own decisions and she still didn’t get it.

A few days on his own were the right thing for him right now. Sure, he had three month to prepare for the academy. Firearms training and self-defence. Didn’t sound like much. But he still needed to prepare himself mentally. And besides, he really needed a few days to sort through the train wreck that was his life. Starting with the search for a temporary job. The student loans where heavy and the sooner he started repaying them, the better.

-----

It had taken Jim a while to convince Simon to take the trip without Sandburg. He could relate to his captain’s uneasiness. After all, cheering up the kid had been the purpose of the enterprise. But giving Sandburg the space he needed right now was the next best thing. Now they had only one problem: Who would drive? Both of them weren’t up to a long trip at the moment. Rafe and Brown solved the problem. Brown would drive them up in Simon’s car, with Rafe following in his own car. Then they would go fishing together and then Rafe and Brown would turn back to Cascade.

Jim wasn’t fooled for one minute. It wasn’t the prospect of a few hours of quiet and a chance of catching a few fishes that made them do that. It was the chance of getting the truth about the dissertation and the press conference out of him. They were detectives after all and knew that something wasn’t right.

Half an hour after they arrived at Simon’s cabin, Jim’s feeling proved to be true. Not very diplomatic – just in the usual Brown-style – he blurted out the question without preparation when Jim was finished with storing his luggage and had sat down at the table in Simon’s comfortable kitchen.

”So, Jim, what’s the story? You’ve got super senses? Somehow I can’t think that we had a rat in our department so long without noticing.”

Simon frowned at Brown’s choice of words, but Jim understood exactly what his fellow detective meant. Sandburg a rat? Not in this live. He checked if his front teeth had grown. If there was a rat involved, it was him. When even Brown chose such words, what would the others call his friend?

”Yeah, Brown, I have. They are no fun to have and I would have lost it without Sandburg. To be honest, I feel lousy about this whole situation. If you call him a rat, I wonder what Jefferson will call him. Or Boyd. These pricks will have a field day with Sandburg.”

”What makes you think I called Hairboy the rat? I mean, if anyone qualifies, it would be you, right? Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell the truth after Zeller was caught?”

Simon moved over to interfere, but Jim motioned him to stay away. This was his fight. Well, hopefully not a real fight, but it sure felt like one, even though they were just having a ‘friendly’ talk.

”You meant Sandburg, right?”

”Yes, I did, but that’s not the point. So, spill, Ellison!”

Not good. Now Brown was really pissed. Rafe stayed in the background, but was listening intently.

”I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to think that I’m a freak. And why I didn’t come clean after Zeller’s little jump? The same thing, I guess. Fear that people would treat me differently, that all nutcases from Cascade and around would try to take the sentinel out. That women would want to date me, simply to have a really ‘sensitive’ man, so to speak. That the brass would rake Simon over the coals for having kept quiet about my abilities. That Sandburg would get a job at a university on the other side of the continent.”

He stopped, astonished. It had never occurred to him before that he had let Sandburg sacrifice his life’s work, just to keep him close. What kind of selfish prick was he? Brown seemed to sense his inner conflict and stayed silent. Rafe hadn’t realized that something important was going on and started to speak, but Simon’s elbow collided with his ribcage, hard, and stunned him into silence.

”Seems that I have to process, too. I could live with the nutcases. And the women don’t have to be a drawback. But Simon, when I come clean now, where does that leave you? And with all this media attention, could I continue working with the PD?”

Simon moved over to him, leaving Rafe to rub his aching ribs. He laid his hand on Jim’s shoulder, silently offering strength.

”Don’t worry about me, Jim. I’m a big boy and I didn’t make captain because of my good looks. I can deal with the brass. And the press will find something more interesting in a short time. The only thing I can’t say anything about is Sandburg leaving. But that could happen anyway. If he attends the Academy it will be very hard for him. And getting promoted to detective without being a beat cop before won’t make him many friends, either. He could leave anyway, Jim. But you don’t have to decide now. You have five days to come to a conclusion and I’m sure that Brown and Rafe will respect your private sphere and keep quiet, won’t you, detectives?”

”Yes, Sir!”

Perfect unison. No wonder, considering Simon’s tone of voice. He didn’t doubt Simon’s ability to deal with the Chief of Police and the Commissioner any longer. Being Simon’s friend sometimes let him forget the authority and capability of the older man.

Rafe and Brown both didn’t feel like fishing and headed home to Cascade, but not before Brown told him that he was standing behind him and hinted that he would know what he should do. And he did. He didn’t want to, but he knew. Fortunately, he had five days to think about his next steps. That was much more than Sandburg had had. And he had someone to talk to, someone who was good at giving advice.

-----

Blair was exhausted, emotionally and physically. This was definitely the weirdest day in his entire life. He had a job. A real, well-paid job without fixed hours. And the man who offered him the job: Sid Graham. Sid, I don’t care that you don’t want to publish your paper, Graham. Was it a feeling of guilt? What the hell had made him do that? Of course he had taken the job, even though he didn’t trust the man. He didn’t have that many choices in the matter.

Sid had said that he loved his writing style, that he could be a great writer, whether he’d write novels or scientific papers. Under a pseudonym, if course. The scientific papers, that is. For fiction it would be great to have a name everybody heard of. Being national news, even as a fraud and liar, would make a great publicity if he finished something quickly. For now his job was giving a clumsy translation a better formulation. But Sid was very insisting on writing a novel. Preferably about a sentinel.

Blair felt like puking. Still. He had lost his breakfast after Graham’s call. Accepting this offer made him feel like a whore. He didn’t intend to write a novel, ever. But this revision of the translation would be a great help with repaying his student loans and getting an own apartment. The money Sid was willing to pay stood in no relation with the actual work. Did that make him feel better? Hell, no! It was just Sid’s way of convincing him to act against his own moral. Moral. That was something he couldn’t afford anymore. Working for Graham was bad, but he drew the line at this novel-thing. He ran into the bathroom again, retching. But his stomach was empty. So he settled for taking a very hot shower with a lot of soap. Not surprisingly, he didn’t fell any cleaner afterwards. Only dizzy. Maybe the shower had been too hot.

He settled down on the couch and switched the TV-set on. For a while he surfed the channels and settled finally on a nature show about insects. Insects were good. Harmless. Being an insect would be so peaceful. Until the next bird. He wondered what Jim and Simon would do now. Both men were still recovering from their injuries. Injuries they had to endure because he had been careless. Because he thought his mother would respect his wishes. No point in thinking about Naomi again. He needed to let the grass grow over her actions. Right now he was still too angry. All his self-hate had found it’s outlet in one Naomi Sandburg and that was no good thing. He brought his thoughts back to his soon to be ex-roommate. Jim had been gone for three days now. Would his leg be okay? The big man didn’t take enough care of his health.

A knock at the door woke him from a light sleep. He stood up and fell back onto the couch. God, he was still dizzy and nauseous. And now he had a headache, too. Supporting himself with his arms, he stood up, more carefully this time. His knees were shaking and the room seemed to spin around him. The way to the door took him longer then usual and the visitor knocked again when he just arrived there. He looked through the spy hole and saw his neighbor next door, Mrs. Murphy. Removing the door chain, he opened, forcing a smile on his face.

The abrupt movement of the old woman towards him startled him and he fell back in surprise. It took his fuddled brain a moment to process all the fast motions around him and when he finally realized that a giant of a man had thrown her at him, the thug hat already shot her with a silenced weapon and had set his foot on his neck, the weapon trained on his head. Grinning, the big man gave the door a shove and it fell back into lock. The pressure on Blair’s neck increased when the giant bent down and he was relieved when the foot was replaced with a big hand. Not for long, though. The pressure was too much and he felt his vision grey before he lost consciousness.

-----

Jim had been edgy the whole day. He had made his decision and now he was dying to get through with it. Not that he really wanted to expose himself to the public, but every day he waited would make him more nervous. He could drive home; it wouldn’t make much difference now because the nervous pacing he was doing wasn’t much better for his leg than a long drive.

Simon had watched him patiently. His boss had been a great help and his suggestions had been very helpful. Particularly the practical sides of the matter.

”Simon, what do you think about shortening our vacation? I’m kind of antsy about talking to Sandburg.”

The captain nodded, smiling slightly.

”I wondered when you would ask. Of course we can go back now. My bag is packed since yesterday. You lasted longer than I thought.”

Jim grinned at his boss and went to pack his own bag. The sound of braking glass and a clattering noise brought him back into the living room. He saw the gas grenade beside the table, but it was too late. His last conscious thought was about Simon who was already lying on the ground. Then everything went black.

-----

Blair came to when he felt a searing pain in his left hip. It felt like a red-hot knife had pierced his skin. He glanced in the direction of his leg. Knife was right. The thug was currently enjoying himself with twisting the knife in the wound. It hurt like a bitch, but he wasn’t able to voice his discomfort. His throat felt all closed up and he wondered how he was able to breathe. He felt strangely distanced from himself, without the pain in his hip, of course. That was only too present to ignore. His captor muttered under his breath, but Blair understood every word. Did the situation give him sentinel-senses? Inwardly he was giggling and noticed that he was losing it big time.

”Shit. Maybe I did kill that little shit. When that doesn’t wake him up, nothing else will.”

When the man made a move as if to turn, Blair closed his eyes and played dead. A clumsy hand found its way to his throat and pressed. Blair fought the urge to move away. The pressure ceased after a few seconds. Obviously, the guy had simply felt his pulse.

”Boss? I’m at Ellison’s apartment, but he isn’t here. I only found his boy-toy. - Alive? – Okay, I keep him alive.”

Blair sent a big thank-you to whomever the thug was calling. He didn’t really think that this guy had any ideas how to keep him alive, but at least he wouldn’t try to hurt him anymore. That was a wrong assumption, as he learned seconds later. Thug’s way of keeping him alive was applying a pressure bandage and with this guy the word ‘pressure’ got a whole new meaning. Surprisingly, he was able to stay silent. He began to wonder if there was something wrong with his throat. If he lost his voice, working as Jim’s partner was out. That left writing for the slime ball Graham. God, he was really hoping it was only temporarily. At the moment, it worked in his favor. If he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t give himself away.

He felt the giant throwing him over his shoulder and dared to open his eyes. Big mistake. He looked directly into the dead eyes of his neighbor. He had liked Mrs. Murphy. She had always found the time to talk to him, to give him little goodies she liked to bake. His eyes filled with tears.

The goon carried him to a car. In broad daylight. Undisturbed. He was thrown on the backseat of the car. Naturally, he landed on his injury. Fresh tears welled up, but still, he was able to stay silent. Or, better said, was unable to utter a single sound. When the big man was occupied with driving, he tried to move his arms, and only then he realized that his hands were bound together behind his back. He checked his legs. Also bound. And trying to move them was more than a little painful.

He fought to stay conscious. If he had no way to escape, at least he wanted to know the destination of the drive. He was well aware of his problem with directions, always had been, so he had started to memorize the maps of Cascade and surroundings since he had been sixteen. If they didn’t drive too far away from the town, he should be able to find out where he was.

-----

Simon regained consciousness in a dark room. Jim was lying beside him, still out cold. He moved over to his friend, groaning when his back protested against the treatment of the last hours. After checking Jim’s pulse rate and breathing, he gently patted his detective’s cheek.

”Come on, Jim, wake up. I’m getting kind of lonely here.”

Jim groaned and began to move sluggishly. Finally, he opened his eyes and squinted at his boss. Simon helped him sitting up.

”How do you feel, Jim?”

”Did you get the plate of the truck that ran me over?”

”No, sorry. I was not exactly at my best. Are you okay?”

”I’m getting there. Where are we?”

”Beats me. Can you hear something?”

Jim concentrated, but gave up frustrated after a while.

”No. My senses are out of whack. God, Simon, what’s going on here? Did you see someone?”

”No. I guess we’ll find out sooner or later.”

Both were still groggy from the gas. They managed to search their confinement for a way out. The room had a window, but it was screwed shut and thick boards covered it from the outside. Door, walls and ceiling were solid. So, their only chance was waiting for their captor and hoping they could overpower him.

After a few moments of rest, Jim dozed of again and Simon kept watch. For a while, until he, also, fell asleep.

The door slamming open startled both of them awake, just ready to catch the body that was thrown into the little room. Then the door banged shut again before they could think about attacking their jailer. Simon cursed silently. An opportunity missed. He turned around to study the unmoving body in Jim’s arm. Sandburg. The little light in the room allowed him to see the crude bandage on the kid’s left hip, the sweat on his brow and even the dark bruises on his throat.

”How is he, Jim?”

”He has a fever. His throat is swollen, but he’s breathing okay. The wound on his hip isn’t bleeding anymore but it smells infected.”

”Shit! What do we do now? He needs a hospital. God, I wish we knew where we are.”

”jennings’ sawmill.”

Simon fell back on his hindquarters, stunned. He had thought the kid was unconscious, but the hoarse voice, a little louder than a whisper, proved different.

”Chief, you awake? How do you feel?”

”am fine, jim. couldn’t be better.”

The older men grinned. It was a very good sign that the kid hadn’t lost his humor. But his voice sounded awful, quiet, and Simon’s own throat hurt when he heard the scratchy sound. 
 
”You’re a really strange individual, Chief. Are you sure about the sawmill?”

”positive.”

Simon cut in.

”Uhm, Jim, are you sure that we should trust a delirious and even at the best times directionally challenged individual that he knows where we are?”

”When Sandburg says he knows where we are then he does. He wouldn’t say it otherwise.”

”Okay, Jim, so we are at Jennings’ sawmill. How does that help us?”

”highway. four miles north,” Blair’s raspy voice interrupted.

”That’s right. If we get out here, we just need to get to the highway. There’s a lot of traffic with quite a few patrols.”

Simon grinned at the nearly fatherly pride in Jim’s voice. When did Sandburg get so good in geography anyway? So far, the kid had shown no signs of a good sense of direction. But in the Sandburg zone, everything was possible. How did the kid get here anyway? Simon was dying to ask, but didn’t want to encourage the kid to speak until his voice was better. Jim didn’t seem to share his worry, because he continued questioning Sandburg.

”Do you know who’s behind this?”

A shake of the head, accompanied from a quiet whimper of pain, was his only answer. Jim seemed to be satisfied. He settled down sitting against the wall, with Sandburg’s upper body propped against his chest. Suddenly, the young man became fidgety. With a few groans he managed to reach into his left jeans pocket and fumbled something out of it. When he offered it to Jim, Simon saw Sandburg’s Swiss army knife. Both, he and Jim had awoken with empty pockets, but obviously, nobody had taken the time to search the kid. Jim smiled at his friend.

”Thanks, Chief. – Would you, Simon?”

”Sure, Jim.”

He took the tool out of Jims hand and moved over to the window. The screws were rusty and hard to loose, but he managed. Three screws secured the window and he felt a blister forming when he had them all finally out. He opened the window and knocked at the boards behind. They sounded solid. The window hadn’t been the real problem. Breaking the glass would have been easy, except the noise. Noise? Now, that Sandburg was here, shouldn’t Ellison be able to hear what was going on outside their little cell?

”Jim? Are your senses better? Can you heat what’s going on?”

Jim’s face showed a concentrated expression, followed by a relieved smile. The first ray of light on an otherwise cheerless day.

-----

Jim felt ashamed. He was so absorbed in Blair’s presence, he didn’t even think about his senses. Now, that he had dialed up his senses, he could practically feel the fever rising in the body leaning against him. But he could hear their captors, too. Four men, one obviously dumb as a door handle, two trigger-happy goons who opted for shooting them rather sooner that later and their boss. He gritted his teeth when he heard the voice. Donovan Mitchell, a little thief he had arrested on his way to work when the guy had stolen a woman’s purse. How had this little thief made boss of a gang? A gang consisting of morons, but still. Prison seemed to have changed the man, gave him power. That happened sometimes, a further proof of the imperfection of the system. A gentle pat on the leg woke him from his thoughts and he smiled thankfully at his human anchor.

”It’s Donovan Mitchell. He has three goons, one dumber than shit and two trigger-happy morons.”

”Who’s Mitchell, Jim? I can’t remember the name.”

”That’s no surprise, Simon. He’s a little thief who obviously made a career at prison. The good thing is that all of them are really stupid. If we’re quiet enough, we can get out of here without them noticing.”

”But what if they come in here?”

”They won’t. This is Mitchell’s revenge. I imprisoned him, he imprisons me. He wants to stay out there until we’re dead from thirst.”

”Sounds like a real charmer. How is Sandburg? He hasn’t moved for a while.”

”He’s awake, just resting. The fever has risen but it’s not dangerously high yet. But we still need to hurry to get him to a hospital.”

Jim bent down to look in his friends eyes as the younger man glowered up at him.

”Sorry, buddy, but it’s necessarily. I know you don’t want to go, but humor me, okay?”

”okay.”

The answer was barely more then a breath, but he understood it just fine. He patted Blair gently at the shoulder, than settled him carefully against the wall and stood up to help his captain.

They worked concentrated for about an hour until they had loosened two of the boards and created a space big enough to squeeze them through. Now came the tough part, namely waking Sandburg up. The young man had fallen in an exhausted slumber shortly after they had started to work on the window. Jim went back to his roommate and tapped on his shoulder.

-----

Blair awoke with a start. The sudden movement aggravated the pain in his hip. Shouldn’t the pain have ceased in time? It still was as bad as it had been when the knife had penetrated his body and when every movement of the car had jostled his injury further since the thug had placed him on the sore left side. He hadn’t dared to move because he needed to know the destination of the ride and if his abductor had known that he was awake, who knew what he would have done?

He couldn’t stifle the moan of pain and could practically see his sentinel switch into a nursemaid overdrive. He giggled at the mental image of the older man in a short white dress.

”What’s so funny, Chief? Had a nice dream?”

Blair’s mirth increased. Now he imagined Jim with a mane of long, blond hair. God, he was losing it.

”don’t mind me. just losing my mind.”

”Oh, nothing new then.”

”What did he say?” Simon asked.

”That he’s losing his mind. Nothing unusual.”

Simon chuckled at that and moved over to help Jim getting Blair to his feet. He leaned heavily into the two big men since his legs didn’t want to carry him. Even the right one was resisting to work. They dragged him over to the window, where Jim climbed through first and then pulled him out while Simon pushed from the other side. The actual leaving of the little room was a blur; he only got bits and pieces of it, blacking out for short times repeatedly. He didn’t understand why he felt so weak but his mind worked so sluggishly that he gave up every attempt of higher brain functions after a few moments.

They made it out of the building without disturbance. These people were as intelligent as a loaf of bread. They went though all this work to capture them and then didn’t feel the need to watch them. They were so stupid, it bordered on funny. No, not funny. There was something he had forgotten. Something bad. What had it been? He looked around. Trees, Jim, Simon and nothing else. Was it something in the sawmill? The thug’s car? The loft? Oh god, Mrs. Murphy! Sweet Mrs. Murphy who liked to talk to him about her youth, who gave him little presents for his birthday and for Christmas as he did with her, who always thought of him when she was baking! How could he have forgotten her? He started to sob, tears streaming down his face. Funny that he still had tears. He felt as dry as a desert. His vision began to fade again.

-----

Jim and Simon took turns in carrying the unconscious man. It had started to get dark, so Jim went ahead to search the best path through the trees. He could already hear the highway; it couldn’t be much longer now.

”Jim, is that the highway I’m hearing?”

”Yes. Not a minute too early. Blair’s too hot, but he doesn’t sweat anymore. He’s dehydrated but I don’t hear any water within reach. Let’s hope that we find a patrol car soon. An ambulance would be even better.”

Simon didn’t answer, but quickened his pace. He had Blair over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry and was showing signs of exhaustion but his steps were still safe. In a few minutes it would be too dark for the captain to see the ground in front of his feet and then Jim would take over carrying his friend. They had to succeed! No way he was planning to give Blair his life back and couldn’t even tell him about. The kid had beaten death before in a graver situation than that. He could do it again, certainly. But still, he was praying for Blair’s life.

”I take him now. It’s too dark for you, Simon.”

”Okay, Jim.”

Jim felt better as soon as he was in contact with his guide again. Blair’s condition was still disturbing, but somehow he felt that he was helping his friend with the bodily contact. Maybe that was all imagination, but it made him feel better. As soon as Blair was settled, Jim set a brisk pace. Simon, now relieved of his burden, had no problem following.

A few moments later, they had reached the highway. Jim looked for a phone and was positively surprised. There was an emergency telephone not five hundred feet away. He hurried over, praying that the phone was working. Simon followed him, passing him a few feet short of their goal. The captain took the receiver, smiled broadly, then started to issue orders.

Jim checked Blair once again while Simon was taking charge of the situation. His condition hadn’t changed much. It was still serious and he hoped the ambulance would arrive soon. He placed his friend in his arms in a more comfortable position for Blair, now, that he didn’t have to walk any longer and leaned against the pole of the emergency phone for a hopefully short wait.

-----

Simon enjoyed his bottle of water while he watched Jim pacing the floor of the hospital waiting room. Every time Jim passed him, he handed the detective the other bottle. So far, Jim hadn’t seemed to notice that he took the bottle from him, took a swallow of water and then handed it back to him. He was so focused on the noises inside the emergency room, if he would ask him now to work the nightshifts for the next five years, the detective would most likely agree without understanding the question fully.

Suddenly, Jim stopped, smiling slightly.

”He woke up, Simon. He’s a bit confused, but he’s out of danger. Oh, wait, the doctor’s coming out.”

True to the word, the door opened and Dr. Simpson stepped out. Both of them knew her from sooner trips to the ER, so she came to the point instantly.

”Okay, gentlemen, you know the procedure. He’s dehydrated, but that won’t be a problem. We started an IV to replace the lost fluid and he reacted well to it. He has a wound in his left hip, not very deep, mostly damage to the muscle, but it’s infected. He’s on heavy antibiotics and has to stay for at least two days in the hospital. Other than that we have exhaustion and a fever which has already gone down two degrees in the half hour he’s been here. All in all, it looks very good. We’ll transfer him to a room shortly and, yes, you can see him then. If you feel the need to stay again as you did last time, Detective Ellison, he’ll be in a double room and the second bed is empty.”

Simon grinned at Jim’s eager nod. Actually it was sad that the doctors knew Jim’s habits so well. It spoke of the amount of time the two men had spent there. And Jim’s relief had allowed Simon to convince his detective to have a quick dinner in the cafeteria of the hospital. Afterwards, he accompanied Jim to Sandburg’s room.

The kid was asleep. He looked better now, much better than before. Jim settled down on the chair beside the bed. He talked with Jim for a while, but the kid didn’t wake up, so he said his good-bye and left to get a hot bath, a good meal and a few hours of sleep before he would head back into the PD the next morning to interrogate the already caught moron-brigade.

-----

Jim sat beside the bed for an hour, but when it became obvious that Blair wouldn’t wake up anytime soon, he settled down on the second bed. He trained his senses on his friend to be alerted when there was any change in his condition. He had come so close to lose his friend; he wasn’t ready to take any chances with him now. Lying on his side he watched Blair until he fell asleep.

When he came to, he was unsure at first what had woken him. He looked over to the other bed and saw open and alert blue eyes looking at him. It was dark in the room and he wondered what Blair could see at all.

”Hi there. How are you?”

”’m fine. You?”

The voice was still hoarse, but with his acute hearing Jim could detect the improvement.

”I’m okay. I’m just here for the company.”

”company?”

”Yes, company. You can’t expect me to find rest tonight without my favorite roommate and best friend.”

”only.”

”My only friend? I haven’t been that much of a grouch, have I?”

Blair’s quiet chuckle was music in the sentinel’s ears.

”only roommate. doofus!”

”Oh, yes, I knew that. Well, I hoped, anyway. How are your throat and your hip?”

”sore, but okay.”

”Are you tired? I wanted to tell you something, but I can do it later if you want to sleep now.”

”not tired. shoot!”

”Okay. I think it’s time that I come clean. I mean, I’m going public. I will tell the world that I’m a sentinel.”

”What?!”

This was the first word Blair had spoken in a normal volume. If he could have, he’d have shouted it, but he wasn’t up to anything louder at the moment. Blair coughed and grabbed for his throat. Jim jumped up and retrieved the water bottle from Blair’s nightstand, twisted the cap off and handed it over.

”Better now, Blair? Should I call a nurse?”

Blair shook his head.

”am okay. why?”

”Why I will stop living a lie? Because it hurts you. You spent half of your life working towards your doctorate and you lost all of it because I’m too cowardly to admit the truth.”
 
Blair started to speak, but Jim laid a finger on his friend’s lips and shook his head.

”Let me finish, okay? I know what you did for me, what you sacrificed; but I can’t let it go on. It’s not right, and frankly, I’m tired living a lie.”

”but your safety?”

”I think if the public knows about my abilities it will be much safer. If there are only rumors some obscure agency might want to investigate them.

”i’m sorry. all my fault.”

”Nonsense. You didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t blame you and you shouldn’t do that, too. You did nothing wrong, Blair. However, this whole affair showed me how good of a friend you really are and that I can trust you unconditionally. I’m sorry that I didn’t get that before, Blair. Please believe me, I’m your friend and I will do anything that’s necessary to save our friendship.”

”know that. you call me blair, never did that. but don’t’ expose yourself, we’ll find another way.”

”Please, trust me Blair. I thought about it for quite some time and it’s the best solution. It will work. Please, trust me.”

”always, jim, always. can i still go to the academy?”

”Sure, if you want to. You still ant to be my partner even though you could be a famous anthropologist?”

”i’m flexible, i can be both.”

”That you can, Chief. If anyone can do that, it’s you.”

-----

One year later:

”Ellison, Sandburg, my office!”

”Gee, what’s wrong, Simon?”

”That’s captain to you, Sandburg!”

”That’s doctor to you, Captain!”

On to the Sequel: Freed

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