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Blair had begged, pleaded and argued with his sentinel. It had worked actually. For a total amount of ten days. But now he was getting better and his favorite argument, ‘Jim, I’m too weak to deal with this right now’, wasn’t working anymore. Blair was at a loss. He couldn’t allow Jim to throw his life away, but, considering it realistically, there was nothing he could do against it. Jim was a grown man, and if he decided to come clean, well, it was his decision.
His life was really a mess. He was still confined to the loft by doctor’s orders and couldn’t meet Jim’s co-workers to get allies for his case. And the phone calls, he did during the last few days, showed that Jim had them all on his side. Sort of. They were angry that Jim didn’t tell them about his abilities, but agreed that he should go public. Blair was so frustrated. Surely he’d be able to convince them if he had a chance to talk to them in person. But a certain sentinel had forbidden him to move one foot outside of the loft and threatened him with grave bodily harm. Not that Blair believed for one moment that the older man would hurt him, but he had to admit that he was still weak. The infection had been bad and the antibiotics had played havoc with his system. But he had finished them finally and started to feel better. What Jim noticed at once and continued his ‘convince Blair that it’s for his best’-campaign. Blair was unsure whether he should keep up his efforts to change the sentinel’s mind. It hadn’t worked for ten days. Jim was stronger that he had thought. Nobody had ever resisted him that long. Except his mother, but she had all the advantages.
He hadn’t heard from her since the day he was offered the gold shield. Most probably she was still processing. If Jim would carry out his plan he’d maybe hear from her again sometimes soon. If she wasn’t sulking about him lying about Jim’s abilities. But if she had a problem with him becoming a policeman when he had no other choice, how would she react if he chose this lifestyle when he could be an anthropologist instead? If Jim’s plan worked at all. His life was chaotic now and it would be much worse after Jim’s confession.
Frustrated, he threw himself onto the couch. The healing wound in his hip protested against the force of the movement, but he ignored the pain. Jim was due any minute now and he had to steel himself for another round of discussion.
A firm knock at the door startled him from his introspection. He grabbed the cell phone and went to the door. After dialing Jim’s number, he kept the thumb on the send-button and opened the door. Since his release from the hospital he always took precautions before opening the door. And he had stopped looking through the spy-hole. Even if it presented an unthreatening view it could conceal danger, how recent events proved. Blair knew that he was paranoid, but it was so hard to deal with Mrs. Murphy’s death and his fear of a repeat performance didn’t help.
The man on the threshold didn’t look dangerous, just busy and slightly annoyed.
”Yes?”
”Mr. Sandburg, Blair Sandburg?”
”That’s me.”
His grip on the phone tightened. The man wasn’t exactly friendly and the phone offered him a sense of safety.
”Nice to meet you, Mr. Sandburg. My name is Harold Weston and I work for Sheffield and Fraser. Mrs. Erin Murphy entrusted our office to take care of her interests. I’m sorry if my visit is inconvenient to you, but I called a few times and a Mr. Ellison told me that you were unavailable, so I decided to try my luck and see if you were ant home.”
”Oh, okay. Please do come in. My roommate didn’t tell me about your calls or I would have called you back. I’ve been sick and he wanted me to rest.”
Mr. Weston smiled politely, but false. Blair could see the disgust in the lawyer’s eyes. Another one of this simple minds who equaled male roommates, long hair and taking care of each other with being homosexual. Even though Blair was sure that dear Harold would use another term. God, he was so tired of bigots and decided to keep the meeting as short as possible. That guy was giving him the creeps and he didn’t want him to meet Jim.
”So, what do you want, Mr. Weston?”
”Do you have any papers that prove that you are Blair Sandburg?”
Blair frowned. That man came into his home and expected him to identify himself?
”Sure I have. What doesn’t mean that I will show you. Is that all?”
”No, Mr. Sandburg, you don’t understand! Mrs. Murphy remembered you in her will and I have to make sure that you are the right person before I hand the papers over to you.”
”Wait a minute.”
Blair fumbled his driver’s license out of his wallet with his right hand, keeping the phone in his left with his thumb still on the send-button. The lawyer studied the driver’s license as if it was an artwork he should appraise. Blair was sure there weren’t that many facts on it that it should take minutes to compare it to the lawyer‘s papers. Finally, the man handed him a stack of papers. Blair fought the urge to disinfect them before he touched them.
”Sign here that you received the papers!”
”Wait a minute. What are these papers?”
”A copy of the testament, a letter she left to you, information on your share of the inheritance. I advise that you read it and visit me in my office within the next few days. Goodbye!”
The lawyer had spoken in a condescendingly tone of voice, slowly as if he was retarded. Then he handed him his card, already turning around and leaving the apartment. God, what an asshole! Now he knew why lawyers had a bad reputation. Harold Weston was enough reason to condemn a whole profession. The idea of meeting this creep again made him feel sick.
Blair turned the key in the lock after the slime-ball and laid the papers on the coffee table. He wasn’t ready to deal with them. He was missing her so much. Mrs. Murphy had always taken care of him when he was sick, cooking him meals and keeping him company. Reading those papers would make her death so… final.
He heard a key in the lock. Jim came in; looking determined to convince him this evening of his plans, but Blair was feeling too tired to argue. He sat down on the couch and placed the papers in his lap.
”What is this, Chief? Bad news?”
Blair looked up into his sentinel’s worried face and couldn’t keep from grinning. The older man was so predictable.
”I’m not sure. The biggest asshole of a lawyer existing in the known world paid a visit to me. Seems that Mrs. Murphy left me something.”
”Well, what is it?”
”Jim, did no one ever told you that curiosity killed the cat? You should be careful, considering your spirit animal.”
”Ha ha, very funny! Aren’t you curious?”
”I haven’t decided yet. She was like a grandma to me but I feel really bad when I think about her leaving something to me. I’m the reason she’s dead.”
Jim jumped up, angry.
”How can you say that, Blair? Mitchell’s goon shot her, not you. Do you think she would blame you? I’m sure she wouldn’t. That woman loved you, Blair.”
-----
Jim looked down on the slumped figure on the couch. Silent tears were running down Blair’s cheeks. He sat down beside his friend and laid his arm around his friend’s shoulders.
”I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I know how hard all of this has been for you.”
”Sorry, Jim. It’s just, I miss her so much. She left me a letter, but if I read it, well, she’ll be really dead then, you know?”
”Yes, I do. Now you can pretend that all of this has just been a terrible nightmare but when you read the letter it will be real.”
”Yeah, exactly. God, I’m so messed up. Could you read the letter to me, please?”
”Sure, Chief. I’m just making tea and then we’ll read the letter, okay?”
”Thanks, Jim.”
A few minutes later, an over-protective sentinel had not only provided his guide with tea and sandwiches, he had also made a comfortable nest on the couch out of the cushions. Jim noticed Blair’s smile. Okay, he was overdoing it, so what? Usually, the kid was annoyed when he made a fuss about him, but today he was thriving with the attention.
”Comfy?”
Blair nodded and handed Jim the letter. The sentinel opened the envelope carefully. He wanted to keep it in the best possible condition because he was quite sure that Blair would want to keep the letter. He glanced at his friend a last time, then started to read.
”My dear Blair! I thought long what I should write you, how I could possibly explain what you mean to me. I never had children, never even thought about having kids until I met you. Of course, by then it was a little too late for me to actually have offspring. Now, get your mind out of the gutter, Blair! I didn’t want to have your children; I wanted you to be my son. Or grandson. In my long life I never before found a soul as beautiful as yours. Please, accept what I left to you in the spirit it was given. I love you, Blair. I’ll see you again, in an afterlife or the next one. Love, Erin Murphy. PS: Tell Jim that I’ve forgiven him.”
Blair blinked through the wetness in his eyes. Jim cleared his throat. He also had to fight against the tears.
”What did you do that she forgave you?”
”Something really unforgivable. I threw you out. That woman read me the riot act after that. I swear, she had a vocabulary to make a sailor blush!”
”Mrs. Murphy? You’re kidding!”
”No, really. She fought for you with teeth and fingernails. And she was right. I’m sorry how I treated you.”
”That’s okay, Jim. Do you feel guilty enough to cancel your public suicide?”
Jim laughed aloud. He seemed to have won the argument. Blair wasn’t nearly as determined as he had been before. Could it be that he really had won? Against Blair ‘I talk you stupid’ Sandburg? Too good to be true.
”No, Chief, sorry. The date is set. Simon arranged a press conference for tomorrow morning. There is no way back.”
Blair shook his head. Jim noticed his trembling hands and pallor. His guide and friend was really worried about him, but there was no need. He would be fine. They would be fine.
”There’s always a way back, Jim. But you’re a grown man. It is your decision.”
”But?”
”But I am afraid. What will that do to you?”
”It will free me.”
-----
Blair felt awful. The papers on the coffee table reminded him painfully of his neighbour’s dead and the impending doom of Jim’s announcing of his abilities overshadowed his thoughts. Could his life get any worse?
Jim’s sudden intake of breath startled him. The sentinel was pale and his expression predicted nothing good.
”What’s wrong, Jim?”
”Naomi’s on her way up.”
Okay, that he should have known. Never tempt fate. Compared to the present situation, he had been carefree before. Quickly gathering his papers together he looked for a safe place to store them. There was no need of his mother reading them and be dented in her motherly pride. Jim took him by the elbow and led him up the stairs towards the sentinel’s bedroom. There he opened a drawer, took a key out from the inside of it and handed it to Blair, who smiled thankfully at his friends thoughtfulness.
”Thank you. Bye the way, did a lawyer named Weston call lately?”
”Weston? There were a few calls from a Weston but he never mentioned that he was a lawyer. He didn’t tell me what he wanted from you so I just assumed he was a reporter.”
”That certainly sounds like him. I’d actually prefer talking to a reporter.”
”That bad?”
Blair nodded miserably. The thought of that creep taking care of Mrs. Murphy’s interests was revolting. Jim punched him lightly on his upper arm.
”Come on, wolf-boy, time to face the lioness.”
Blair grinned at Jim’s attempt to lighten the mood. It was a poor try but it had worked and that was all that counted.
”Did you read The Jungle Book again, Baghira?”
That made Jim laugh, too. They descended the stairs in a much better mood then climbing them. Jim kept his hand on Blair’s back when they went to the door. They arrived there just in time to open it a second before Naomi could knock. She was startled, blinking nervously at the two of them.
”Hello, Naomi, nice to see you. Come on in.”
She swallowed and nodded at Jim. Blair wondered what had spooked her so much.
”Hi mom.”
She smiled at him, but he could tell that something wasn’t right. There was only one thing he could think of. Was it possible that she was just now realizing that Jim was indeed a sentinel? That thought made him angry. She was his mother; sure she knew that he didn’t lie in his paper? Had she believed that her son was a fraud?
”What’s wrong, Naomi?”
He was able to conceal his anger pretty well but he was sure that Jim was still able to hear it. Well, Naomi wouldn’t and that was all that counted.
”Oh, nothing Blair. I was just startled.”
Jim smiled at her and motioned her inside, finally closing the door behind her.
”Why are you surprised? I heard you cursing when you stumbled in the lobby.”
The look on her face would have been priceless if it hadn’t enraged Blair so much. She really didn’t know. Didn’t know him at all.
”You really are a sentinel?”
At Jim’s nod she turned to face Blair, confused, angry, accusing.
”But why did you say that you were a fraud?”
”Damage control.”
She frowned and shook her head, not understanding. He didn’t expect her to, not any more. But he also didn’t want to explain it to her. He turned around and went into the kitchen, leaving his mother in Jim’s care.
-----
Jim had an idea what was wrong with his friend, but he could be mistaken. Blair Sandburg was a very complex man and tended to do the unexpected. Naomi, on the other side, was absolutely clueless, that much was obvious. She stared at her son’s retreating back with a confused and angry pair of eyes. She stomped after Blair.
”Blair Sandburg, you will talk to me, now!”
Blair turned around, calmly, and nodded at her. But instead of coming back into the living room, he continued his way into the kitchen and started to make tea. That enraged his mother further and she went after him, grabbed him at the shoulder and spun him around. Blair had just been setting mugs on the counter and her sudden actions made him drop them. They shattered into many sharp pieces around him. That sprung Jim into action and he hurried into the kitchen, dragging the woman away from her son.
”Naomi, that’s enough!”
”Take your hands off me! That is all your fault! Blair would never have done anything like that before he met you! He never lied to me before!”
Whatever reaction Jim was expecting, Blair’s loud guffaw wasn’t it. He turned around, awaiting to see that Blair had finally lost his mind but the only thing the younger man had lost was his composure. He was giggling, wiping the tears of mirth from his eyes. Then he looked up at Jim and Naomi and was lost in another bout of laughter. He turned around and doubled up, supporting himself against the counter and tried to calm down. His mother stared at him with her mouth hanging open. Time to calm things down a bit.
”Are you okay, Chief?”
”Sure. <giggle> I’m okay, Jim.”
”Come on, sit down. I’ll clear this mess and you two talk, okay?”
”Okay, Jim. Could you please make tea? I’d really like a cup right now.”
”Sure, Chief.”
Blair sounded calm now, but he still avoided looking at his mother. He sat down on the couch, waiting for her to join him. She did, still looking angry and confused.
”I’d really like to know what’s so funny, Blair.”
Jim watched silently from the kitchen how Blair took a deep, cleansing breath and started to talk quietly, looking down at his feet, at the far wall, everywhere but his mother.
”I’ve never lied before? Come on, you don’t believe that, do you? Ask Jim, hell, ask everyone who knows me. They all have problems to say whether I’m lying or not, that skilful of a liar I am. It is not a skill I was born with, it’s something I have practised since I’ve been four years old.”
”I don’t believe it. You were never able to lie to me, I would have known!”
Blair laughed again, a short, joyless sound. Jim had the tea ready by now and carried it over, then took place close beside his guide in the hope of providing strength for him.
”Thank you, Jim. If you really knew, why didn’t you stop Bradley?”
”Bradley? Bradley Walker? What has he got to do with it?”
”Well, you asked me if I liked him, if he was good to me, remember?”
Naomi stared at him, incredulous.
”Sure I remember. You liked him so much; I was feeling really bad when I left him.”
”I hated him. See, one of many lies you didn’t notice.”
”Why should you have hated him? He was so good for you. He was such a calming influence to you.”
”Calming?!”
Blair jumped up. Jim moved his legs aside quickly to allow his friend to move freely. Blair started to pace agitatedly.
”Calming? He fucking threatened me! He said that he would kill me if I wouldn’t keep quiet and be a good little boy! I didn’t dare to move or speak! Calming, ha!”
”But why would he do that? He loved you. And you said that you liked him.”
Blair moved over to the other end of the couch where Naomi sat and bent down to her, his face inches away from hers. When he continued talking, he kept his voice low.
”I said that I liked him because he said if I didn’t, he would hurt you, too.”
”How old have you been, Chief? What did he do to you?”
Blair went back to Jim and motioned him to scoot over, so now Jim was between him and his mother. Blair carded his fingers through his hair and looked only at his sentinel when he continued to talk.
”I was six. He hit me, pushed me around, all in all, he made my life a living hell. He had no rules. I never knew when to expect punishment. He hated it when I read. The room to my door had to stay open all the time and he used to sneak in and if he found me reading he would hit me from behind. God, Jim, that man messed me up so badly, for years after this experience I wasn’t able to relax until I was alone in a locked room. The psychologists said I was agoraphobic but I was always thinking someone would sneak up behind me and punish me for something I did or didn’t.”
Jim hugged his guide to his chest.
”I’m sorry, Chief. I could find the creep and castrate him if you want to.”
Blair chuckled quietly into his chest, but Jim could feel the wetness of his tears, too. Blair was usually so strong, but the events of the last weeks had shaken him up badly and his emotions were very close to the surface.
”Thanks, Jim, I appreciate the offer. But that won’t be necessary.”
”Okay, Blair. Your tea’s getting cold.”
Blair took the mug obediently and sipped. Naomi cleared her throat and both men turned around to face her. She glared at both of them, even angrier than before.
”I don’t believe you. You’re just saying that to defend this pig.”
Blair gasped for air but made no attempt to stop her when she stood up and left the apartment.
-----
Naomi felt awful. She had just insulted the man her son felt so deeply for, that he was ready to throw his whole life away for him. And even worse, she had hurt her son. After her huge mistake with his dissertation, she had sworn to never do anything that foolishly ever again. And, big surprise!, she had done it again. She kicked at the next unyielding surface, swearing loudly when she saw that her shoe hadn’t survived the action undamaged. But a ruined shoe was nothing compared to the relationship to her son. She turned around and limped back to the loft.
Her steps became slower when she came near her destination. Maybe she should have taken the time to think about her next actions? But she couldn’t think without apologizing to the two men before. So what if Blair had lied to her? Sure, it had hurt to learn that she wasn’t the perfect mother as she had thought. It wouldn’t help things if she was an even worse mother now.
She took a deep, cleansing breath, squared her shoulders and stepped into the lobby of Jim’s apartment building. In her head she repeated her mantra ‘I am calm. I will do this. I love them.’ and went up the stairs, each step punctuating one of her thought words. It didn’t take her long and she was standing before the loft door again.
Jim opened, his face blank of any emotion.
”I’m sorry, Jim. What I said was unforgivable, but please, Jim, you have to believe me, I do regret what I said to you and to Blair. I’m sorry.”
The sentinel studied her face for a long time. Then he finally nodded and stepped aside to let her in. She spotted her son, curled up on the couch. She hurried over and knelt down beside him. With a hesitating hand she brushed the hair out of his face and looked into his eyes. The pain she saw there stole her breath.
”I’m sorry, Blair. I’m sorry that I didn’t take better care of you when you were young. I’m sorry that I didn’t respect your wishes and sent the dissertation to Sid. I’m sorry that I hurt you and Jim today. I love you baby and I hope that you can forgive me someday.”
He looked up at her, studying her face not unlike Jim had done before. Then he nodded, smiling tentatively. She bent forward and kissed him on the forehead. His smile widened. In the meantime, Jim had prepared another tea for them and carried it over to the coffee table.
”Sit down, Naomi. Blair and I have to talk to you.”
She nodded and sat down beside her son, who had sat up again and moved a bit to the side to make room for her. Jim handed her one of the mugs, then gave another one to Blair. Shoving the tray to the side, he sat down on the table so that he was face to face to her.
”You know that Blair didn’t lie in his dissertation and so do a handful of other people like my co-workers, my dad and brother and a rogue CIA-agent. But that will change. I’ll be giving a press conference tomorrow, telling the world about my senses. I’m afraid your role in the events might become part of the discussion.”
”That’s okay, really. I did what I did and I’m ready to answer for that. But what will that mean for you and your work, Jim? And, Blair, will you be able to receive your doctorate then?”
”God, I hope so. Blair deserves it. Hopefully, there won’t be many problems at work. My immediate co-workers know it already and Simon is confident that he can deal with the rest of them.”
”But, mom, even if they do grant me my doctorate, I will go to the academy. I want to be Jim’s partner. I hope you can accept that.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, listening deep inside herself. Her son a cop? What would it mean for him to be Jim’s partner? She thought back at her own parents, a clerk and a housewife who wanted her to live her life in the safety of the suburbs. Her life was much different from what they dreamt for her, but she was happy. If being a cop was Blair’s wish then she should be happy for him to have found his destiny. She always thought that anthropology was his life. But what was life but changes? The thought of her son, doctor of anthropology, keeping the streets safe for the people of Cascade made her proud.
She opened the eyes again, looking into his anguished eyes with all that pride showing on her face.
”I love you, Blair. I’m so very proud of you. And I really didn’t mean what I called Jim before. He does a great job protecting the city and I know that you will be a fantastic detective. Someone who really cares for others. And Blair? I’m really sorry. I realized today that I treated you like my parents treated me, just for being different. I can’t promise that I won’t do it again, but I’ll try my best not to.”
”Thanks, mom. That means much to me. Will you stay for a while? The next days will be crazy and I’ll need you.”
She smiled thankfully. Blair had such a big heard. Again she promised herself to work hard to improve their relationship, to be the mother Blair deserved.
-----
Jim had dropped Naomi off at her hotel and was finally back at his friend’s side. Blair had fallen asleep on the couch, one of the throw cushions clutched to his chest like a teddy bear. Jim had to smile at the sight. His roommate looked years younger. He was glad that Naomi had come back. For Blair’s sake. His own feelings were still conflicting. He had forgiven her, but wasn’t ready to trust her again. Not yet, anyway. But he was glad that she would be there for Blair in the next days. The clearing up between mother and son had helped his guide a great deal. It had provided Blair with the first deep, restful sleep in weeks. Jim unfolded the afghan and covered his sleeping friend. Then he sat down on the armchair and thought about the press conference while he watched his guide sleep.
-----
The very next evening, Jim’s feelings had changed drastically. In Naomi’s favour. She had been a rock for both Blair and himself over the day. While he had been sweating bullets in front of the frantic reporters, their shouts hadn’t been the loudest noises in his ears. His guide’s pounding heard had drowned out all the other sounds. And he had heard Naomi’s whispered encouragements and had drawn strength from them, too.
All things considered, he was satisfied with the events of the day. Beside his main aim, to make his abilities known, he had managed to make his opinion about Chancellor Edwards and her interpretation of professionalism known. And had noticed Naomi grinning at his little sideswipes. It seemed that the two of them had the same foe image.
Jim turned off the ringer of the phone and turned back to the assembled group around the coffee table. Beside Blair and Naomi, there were Joel, Henry, Rafe and Conner. And Simon, of course. Steven had called and would come by later in the evening. He had warned his brother and father the day before and his father had left the town in the morning. Jim could understand that. His father wasn’t the youngest anymore and didn’t need to deal with the stress. It had meant so much to him that his father had accepted his decision. He had feared that he would lose his new-won relationship with his father over this, but the reality was far from it. His dad had encouraged him to follow his heart.
”Hey, Jim, look at this! You’re on every channel! What do you think about giving me a few autographs? I could make a few bucks with your handwriting.”
”Very funny, H. Nobody said anything about Blair?”
”Not yet,” Blair answered, outwardly calm. But Jim could hear his racing heart and the quick breathing. He was clearly frightened. Jim wasn’t sure what about, but they could talk later, when their friends would be gone.
”So, Sandburg, will you let us read your famous dissertation?”
”Sure, Rafe. Knock yourself out. There’s an exemplar on the shelf above the TV-set.”
Rafe moved over to the indicated place and pulled the big stack of papers from the board. Glaring at the author, he pointed accusingly at the pile.
”Did nobody ever tell you that brevity is the soul of wit? It will take me years to read that!”
”Well, Rafe, that’s only fair. Since it took me years to write it.”
Rafe shrugged and threw the stack back on the shelf. Joel stood up, shaking his head, and took the papers instead. He scanned through the chapters, nodding from time to time, whistling admiring when he laid it back.
”You have a good style, Blair. Will you publish the dissertation?”
”Uhm, no, not the whole thing. There is too much in it what could be used as a weapon against Jim.”
”Can you do that? Will the university play along?”
”Well, Joel, it’s not as if I’d have no other choice. If they want the publicity, they have to accept. If they don’t then I’ll go to the academy and forego the doctorate.”
That brought a virtual storm of protest. Blair smiled as his friends tried to convince him to fight for his PhD. Jim hoped that they would succeed. It had been a good day, even though the press conference had been no walk in the park for either of them. He knew that the next days would be hard, too. But with the support of their friends they could do it.
-----
Blair was glad when he was finally alone again. He admired Jim for his courage to go to work today. Naomi had taken off to meet one of her friends who needed her help, but had promised to be back in town as soon as possible. It was just as well. The previous day had exhausted him and he looked forward to a relaxing day on the couch. This hope was destroyed quickly when he heard a knock at the door. Oh joy! Probably a reporter. He grabbed his cell phone and went to the door to look through the spy hole. Damn! It was worse than a reporter. Weston.
Blair sighed. Better get over with it. He laid the phone on the table beside the door and opened the door. Only to have history repeat itself. The lawyer slammed into him, but nobody did Blair the favour to shoot the slimy creep. Weston hadn’t been pushed like poor Mrs. Murphy; he had used his momentum to slam Blair into the wall while he was beating him with his fists.
Blair cried out when Weston hit his just healed wound. The pain mobilized his last reserves of strength. He managed to shove the lawyer away from him, panting with the effort. Weston was ready to attack again and Blair thought frantically what he could do to soothe the creep down.
”What do you want from me?”
”You dare to ask, you stupid hippie fag? Your whole existence is a disgrace to the human race! I will kill you, and I will enjoy it. You will go to hell!”
Blair’s fear vanished and was replaced by a cold fury. He was so fed up with being pushed around! This slimy excuse of a human being wanted to kill him without any reason? What was he, punching bag of the nation? He felt oddly detached from reality. His vision was blurry and the only thing in focus was the enemy facing him.
”Hell? You should know about hell! Mark is waiting there for you, together with Lauren and Stevie. Go on with this and I will be happy to send you to meet them!”
Weston staggered backwards. The cell phone had fallen from the table in the fight and now the lawyer stepped on it, falling backwards and crashing against the wall. The fall knocked him out and he stayed down.
Blair shook his head. What had gone on here? One moment the creep had attacked him and insulted him and in the next moment he was lying there, flat on his back, unmoving. Blair was far from looking a gift horse in the mouth and hurried to find a rope. Frantically, he searched the drawers but didn’t find any. Suddenly he remembered the pair of cuffs Jim kept in his nightstand. It had been the subject of some merciless teasing, but he really hoped he hadn’t annoyed Jim enough that he had removed them. He limped up the stairs as quickly as possible with his throbbing hip. He was in luck, the cuffs were still there. Grabbing it, he turned around and hurried down the stairs again. In his hurry to restrain the nutcase, he stumbled on the last few steps and fell down, landing hard on his just healed hip. The pain brought black point s dancing in front of his eyes, but he managed to get up again and cuff the slime-ball around the rail of the stairs before he passed out.
He awoke to a screaming Weston, whose shouts seemed to ricochet in his aching head. In fact, aching was a too tame phrase. It felt as if a thousand red-hot nails were driven into his skull. Grabbing around blindly – opening his eyes wasn’t very high on his to-do list – he took the first heavy item that fell into his hand and threw it in the direction where the screaming came from. It stopped. Relieved, he laid his aching head back on the flat surface he supposed was the floor. The stabbing pain ceased a bit, enough to let him notice the throbbing pain in his hip. It was nearly as bad as it had been when the dumb shit had stabbed him. But it was nothing against the migraine from hell. God, he hated that. Where was Jim? He could use some help right now. Right, the big guy was working. Perfect. Okay, Sandburg, help yourself!
He opened one eye cautiously but closed it quickly when a burning pain flared up with the first light falling on his retina. Just great! What was he supposed to do? Every movement, noise or light brought on this unbearable, nauseating pain. God, Jim, I need you! Please, please, please, please. His mantra relaxed him a bit and the pain was bearable again. Barely, but he could stand it. But what now? He couldn’t simply lie here, waiting for Jim to come home. Weston had knocked at the door around half past nine. It couldn’t be later then ten o’clock now what meant that Jim would come home in six hours.
Blair was really frightened. And confused as hell. Everything hurt, but his thoughts were absolutely clear. He was able to think coherently. Or was he just too confused to realize that his thoughts were rambling pieces of idiocy? Would he even be able to ponder this question if he wasn’t thinking clearly? This thoughts would lead nowhere. He needed to do something and he needed to do it now.
With slow, fluid movements he felt around, maybe the cell phone had fallen down and he could reach it. No such luck. He had no idea how his position was in relation to the loft. If he could reach the telephone he could get help but he didn’t know in which direction he should crawl. Damn it all to hell! Jim, come home, please!
-----
Jim had a terrible day. He had to dodge a crowd of reporters to get into the station, had to answer countless questions from detectives, uniforms, clerks and even the donut girl and, to make matters worse, even the members of Major Crimes joined in the madness and asked him for demonstrations of his senses. By ten o’clock, he was exhausted and had a splitting headache. Taking Blair’s lessons into account, he asked Simon to drive him home. He’d ask Blair to come and get him, but the reporters were still besieging the PD and he didn’t want to expose his friend to their questions.
Simon agreed readily to take him home. Jim guessed that he wanted to see Blair and question him about his feelings on the day after. He was okay with that. Good to know that someone else cared about the kid, too.
The ride home was unpleasant even though Simon drove carefully, avoiding potholes and taking the smoothest roads. Jim was thankful for his superior’s consideration. It had been a bit embarrassing to hide on the backseat while Simon left the department, but it had kept the reporters away and that was all that counted.
Surprisingly, there were no reporters in front of the loft. Word must have spread that the sentinel was at work. So far, nobody had bothered Blair. But Jim was sure that it was only a matter of time until they concentrated on the brilliant scientist.
Simon accompanied Jim upstairs. He wanted to have a few words with his favourite anthropologist.
Jim heard something strange when he turned the key in the lock. A soft moan, so silent that he couldn’t tell if it was Blair’s voice or not. He motioned Simon to be careful and gave the door a gentle push. It swung open to reveal a truly appalling sight. In between the evidence of a fight, with an unconscious man cuffed to the rail of the stairs, laid Blair, rigidly, unmoving, not reacting to their presence.
”Blair?”
Jim noticed the small, pained whimper and turned around to Simon, laying his index finger on his lips. Simon nodded, mouthing a quiet ‘ambulance’ with a questioning expression. Jim was torn. Noises seemed to hurt Blair, so the arrival of noisy and hectic paramedics wouldn’t be too high on his agenda. On the other side, they would have drugs to take the pain away. But they probably wouldn’t give him anything until they were sure what was wrong with him anyway. He had no idea what to do, so he knelt down beside his hurting guide to wait for any indication Blair might give. Taking Blair’s left hand in his right, he started to stroke the back of Blair’s hand with his thumb. Surprised he scrutinized Blair’s face again when he heard a little content sigh escaping the younger man’s lips. Encouraged, he raised his hand to Blair’s head and began to massage his temple with a feather-light touch. After a few moments, the lines of pain disappeared and big black pupils with only a hint of a dark-blue iris made a, if hesitant, appearance. Jim lost himself in the black.
Suddenly, the black shifted and moved. Jim could finally recognize his spirit animal, whose black fur he had been seeing. The panther was licking the head of a wolf, lying on the ground. Around the two animals was the blue tinged jungle of the vision plane he had encountered before. I changed into another shade of blue and he realized that he was seeing his guide’s irises which were surrounding pupils, now of a normal size again. And they eyes smiled at him.
”Hi Jim!”
”How are you, Blair?”
”Much better, thank you. I had the migraine from hell, but it’s over now. Help me up.”
Jim looked doubtful at him.
”Are you sure? Maybe you should try to sit firstly?”
Blair nodded, albeit with careful movements. Jim helped him to rise to a sitting position, all the time waiting for a sign of distress that never came.
”Are you okay?”
”I’m fine.”
Jim saw the emotions battle in Blair’s expressive face. Finally he sighed and looked at Jim with a defeated expression.
”I’ve lost some time. One moment I was struggling with the asshole and the next moment he was lying there, unconscious. How can I back you up when I’m losing time?’”
”Don’t worry, Chief. You just got whacked over the head one too many times. I’ll take you to the hospital while Simon takes care of that trash over there, okay?”
Simon crouched down beside Blair.
”How do you feel? Could you tell me first what happened here? Jim, you could call an ambulance while Blair and I talk, okay?”
The last sentence stopped Jim from protesting. An ambulance was a good idea; they couldn’t know whether Blair’s improved condition would last. He nodded and went to make the call. Simon sat down on the ground near Blair and waited for an answer.
”I don’t know Simon, he was standing before the door and I opened and he attacked me and I asked him why and he simply said that I was a fag and a disgrace to the human race and that he wanted to kill me-“
The captain interrupted the rambling young man with a gentle hand on his arm.
”Relax, Blair. Everything is okay. Do you know who he is?”
Blair nodded. His gaze shifted over to the man cuffed to the rail, who was still out cold. Whatever he had thrown at the creep, he must have hit him really good. He shuddered and looked back into Simon’s friendly brown eyes.
”He. He came yesterday. He’s a lawyer and he told me that he was executing Mrs. Murphy’s testament. He didn’t like me but stayed professional. Yesterday. Today he stormed in and started hitting me. What did I ever do to him?”
”Don’t worry, Blair. We’ll find out. How’s your head?”
”Better, thanks. It doesn’t hurt anymore. But I’d like to lie down, my hip is hurting.”
In an instant, Jim was back at Blair’s side, checking for a sign of an injury. He lifted Blair’s shirt gently and pushed down the waistband of his sweatpants a bit, careful not to touch the healing injury. It looked angry and red, but thankfully, it wasn’t bleeding again.
”God, Blair, what did you do in your former life? For that much bad karma you must have been a mass murderer.”
Blair grinned at that.
”Or a lawyer.”
Simon huffed in indignation.
”My cousin is a lawyer and you won’t find a finer man in the northern hemisphere.”
Blair looked down and studied his hands in his lap. Jim could see that he was on the verge of tears. The events of the day were finally catching up on him.
”Sorry, Simon. I didn’t mean to offend your cousin.”
Jim made eye contact with his boss and shook his head slightly. Blair was confused and hurting and wouldn’t understand that Simon wasn’t really upset.
”You didn’t, Blair. Even my cousin makes lawyers jokes. And your experience with Weston seemed to prove all the clichés.”
Blair nodded slowly. He was blinking in an attempt to keep his eyes open, but his exhaustion won the battle.
-----
”Jim, please stop arguing! They kept me here for four days already and they found nothing! No concussion, no cerebral tumor, not even a stubbed toe! I’m tired of staying in the hospital, okay? I want to leave; they want me to leave; only you convinced them to keep me here! I’m so tired of being poked and prodded. Please, Jim, I’m really okay. I want to go home.”
Blair was convinced that he was going stir crazy if he had to stay one more day in the hospital. The nurses, even the younger ones who enjoyed having him at their mercy, grew tired of him. The night nurse had asked him in no uncertain terms to go back to bed when she found him pacing the floors again. The immobility was the worst. He felt like running a marathon and they asked him to stay in bed. No, he needed to get out of here.
”You’re sure, Blair? Something must have caused your blackout. And don’t you want to know what caused the headache? Let me tell you, you scared me nearly to death!”
Blair sighed. Sure he wanted to know why he lost time, sure he wanted to know what caused this terrible pain, but his staying in the hospital wouldn’t provide him with the information. The doctors were clueless. In their opinion nothing of the events shouldn’t have happened. They’d done every test in the books and a few more for good measure, but the only thing they found was a low blood sugar. The doctors were as frustrated with him as he was with them.
”Jim? I’m sure. They haven’t found something in four days, what makes you think they’ll find something tomorrow? Or next week? I’m okay; the only thing making me sick is staying here.”
Jim nodded reluctantly.
”Okay. But it wasn't a total waste of time, was it?”
”No, no it wasn’t. I think it was very kind of Mr. Fraser to visit me here and go through Mrs. Murphy’s testament with me. I can’t understand why he employed an asshole like Weston.”
Weston. Blair was still blown away from the events of the latest days. Weston had told a crazy story of him being a demon, knowing his deepest secrets. He claimed that in the time Blair had no memory of, he had told Weston something about Weston’s brother Mark, and Lauren and Steven Adler. It turned out that Weston had killed these three persons. His brother he had suffocated with a pillow when the boy was only seven weeks old. Weston had been twelve. Lauren Adler had rejected him and he had shot her as well as her twin brother Steven. Weston had been seventeen then and the Adlers were sixteen. Well, this whole story showed that the lawyer was clearly insane and must have imagined him mentioning his victims. But the craziest thing was his reason for the attack. Chancellor Edwards. She was Weston’s lover and he was angry about the way Jim had talked about her. Consequently, he decided to take his grudge with Jim out on Blair.
But not only bad things had happened. One positive thing was that Weston had signed a confession and he didn’t need to testify. And Edwards had lost her job over her relation with the murderer. Her reputation had gone to hell and the university had acted quickly. Blair was disappointed that something she wasn’t even guilty of had terminated her carrier instead of the things she really had done. The new Chancellor had contacted Blair the day before and his chances to pursue his academic carrier were looking really good. Another bright point in his life was Mrs. Murphy’s legacy. She had left him her apartment. He and Jim had talked about their future living conditions and decided to build a big sliding door between their apartments. What let to a not-so-seriously-meant discussion about house rules and whether Blair could dictate the new rules now since his apartment was bigger then Jim’s. Now he only had to convince Jim that he needed to leave the hospital and his day would be perfect. The sentinel was already halfway there; he needed only a bit more prodding and he would relent.
”Okay, Jim, now that we agreed on that, can we go home? Please?”
Jim grinned at that.
”Okay, Chief, you win. The doctors decided to throw you out today, anyway.”
”God, now you’re telling me! All the time and effort I invested in you I could have used to get Sandy’s phone number! You’re the reason why this poor girl will never know what she missed!”
”Oh, I forgot, you are god’s gift to the women. Come on, Romeo. Let’s get out of here!”
Yes! In his mind Blair was high-fifing himself while he tried to keep a straight face. Must not have worked very well when he interpreted the grin in Jim’s face right. Just as they exited the room, Sandy arrived with a wheelchair and pointed grinning at the seat.
”You’re kidding, right?”
She shook her head, still smiling and pointed again. Jim smirked at him. Blair crossed his arms before his chest and pouted. What caused Jim and Sandy to burst out laughing.
”You can’t mean that, Sandy. What’s with the silent treatment anyway?”
”I just didn’t want to argue with you, Blair. You’re too good with words, you know? So, shut up and sit down!”
He complied, because he didn’t want to give them more ammunition, they were teasing him enough as it was.
”See, Sandy, I’m a good boy. Doesn’t that earn a reward?”
”What kind of reward would that be, Blair? My firstborn?”
”I wouldn’t go so far. You telephone number would do nicely.”
He batted his eyelashes at her and she laughed. Then she stopped the wheelchair briefly and fished a pen and a piece of paper out of her pocket and scribbled a few numbers on it.
”Well, you have been a good boy today. You have to know that you are the first patient to get this sacred number.”
”I will protect it with my life, Sandy. Thank you.”
She bent down and kissed him lightly on the top of his head. They had arrived at the entrance and he was finally allowed to stand up. Sandy hurried back inside quickly, claiming that she had to work.
”And another one falls to the charms of the irresistible Sandburg. What’s your secret, Chief?”
”Well, that would be my sparkling personality, my incredible sense of humour and, not to forget, this killer body of mine.”
”And you mustn’t forget your modesty. Hop in, Chief, or do you want to jog home?”
”Sounds tempting but you may drive me home, James.”
With a truly majestic wave of his hand he climbed into Jim’s car and watched a snickering detective walk around the car to the driver’s door and get in, too. They teased each other the entire ride home. Blair was glad to be finally home again, in spite of all the bad things that had happened to him there lately. But when they’d build the door, the appearance of the loft would hopefully change enough not to remember the events every time he’d see the front door.
When the elevator stopped at the third floor, Jim bounced nervously at the balls of his feet. That was so unlike Jim’s normal behaviour that Blair was instantly alert. What was it? Was Jim nervous about his memories, too? Blair stepped out of the elevator and stopped cold. Both doors, the one to the loft and his new apartment were new. And they looked very strong.
”Wow! Did you do this, Jim?”
”Let’s go in, okay?”
Blair nodded. Jim opened the loft door and he gaped in surprise. The new door was already there, just how they agreed it would have to be like. And the loft was freshly painted in a nice shade of beige. He was too stunned to speak, so he just pointed at the door and looked at Jim. Who nodded at him. So he opened the door, not really surprised to see the fresh paint job there, too. His new apartment was a bit bare but a quick tour through the rooms revealed a brand new furniture in his new bedroom. Blair stepped into the room and stroked reverently over the surface of the dresser near the entrance.
”That’s. I don’t know what to say, Jim, this is so great! That’s why you brought all these catalogues into the hospital? How did you do that in such a short time? This is so, wow! But that must have cost a fortune!”
”I didn’t have to sell my kidney, no worry. It’s my housewarming gift. And I’ve recruited a few detectives of Major Crimes to help with the painting. The other items of Mrs. Murphy’s furniture are in storage. The ones I thought wouldn’t be your taste like this awful pink cupboard. I figured that the other rooms could wait since were used sharing the kitchen and bathroom.”
”Thank you, Jim. It’s too much but you can’t have it back. So, let’s discuss the new house rules. Can I have a dog?”
-----
If there was something to that rumour that the first dream in a new bed would come true, Blair was in for an interesting time. First he had dreamt of a shaman, painted in the same colors as Incacha had been. That had been really weird.
He had found himself in front of an ancient temple on this blue plane he had seen once before. Under not so optimal conditions, dying to be exact. The temple reminded him on the Mayan temples. On the fourth step stood the shaman, stepping down slowly.
”Welcome, young shaman. You need guidance, now that you’ve taken the first steps on your new path. Feel free to ask your questions, young one.”
”What new path? I didn’t do anything new.”
”When you died, you started your way on the path of the shaman. When you gave up your live a second time, out of your free will, to protect your sentinel, you came into your powers. Now you need to be aware of them and learn how to use them.”
”What kind of powers? I don’t understand.”
”By now, they only manifested in time of great danger. When you were wounded, speaking would have meant the end of your life. So your body refused to make sounds. When you were attacked again, you knew the way to stop him. You confused him with knowledge of his past and weakened his spirit. But you also learned that these new abilities came with a prize. While they strengthen your spirit, they will weaken your body. You need the strength of your tribe to use your powers.”
”Wait a minute – these terrible headaches were some kind of punishment for defeating that creep? I didn’t even know what I did!”
”No, young shaman, it was no punishment. This is just the way it is. You give something, you receive something. As long as you are a member of your tribe you will heal.”
”Like Jim healed me?”
”Yes. For you, he is the most important member of your tribe, so he will give you most strength. Explore your abilities, use the tools your life have given you and I will help you, too. We will meet again, young shaman.”
With these last words, the vision shifted and Blair saw himself, receiving his doctorate, surrounded by his smiling friends. This vision lasted only a few seconds, then he saw another scene, again surrounded by his friends, but this time he received a gold shield.
He had awoken refreshed, feeling as good as he hadn’t for a long time. And giggling madly. This was going to be a talk Jim would remember for a long time. God, how he loved driving his sentinel to distraction.
-End-
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