Part One

It was all just a joke. They just wanted to make fun of the kid; he wasn’t supposed to get hurt. But get hurt he did. In fact, the doctor was very pessimistic about his chance to make a complete recovery, or even to survive. It all started so harmless…

“Would you do me a favor, Hairboy? I need these papers from Dan but have to wait for a call. Could you go down to the morgue for me?”

“Sure, H. What exactly do you need?”

“Just tell Dan that I sent you, he knows what I want.”

Blair nodded and went to the stairway. He wasn’t in the mood for the elevator today. Rhonda wore the same perfume like the lady used who was trapped in the elevator with him when Galileo decided to do his little blackmailing thing. So the memory was very vivid at the moment, and he preferred to use the stairs. Besides, he was a little stiff and could use the exercise.

H grinned to himself. The stage was set, now the actor had to appear. They had decided to test their new surveillance gadgets on their observer and spent the whole morning with setting up the morgue. Dan had grumbled something about ‘a childish bunch, the whole lot’, but let them proceed. When Sandburg would move into the morgue he would pass a photoelectric barrier and a puppet, placed on a table, would pop up, looking as if a corpse decided to take a little walk. The happenings on the scene would be captured by a camera and transmitted to a monitor in the break room of Major Crimes, where the VCR was ready to tape the whole thing.

Brown gave the heads up to his co-conspirators. Soon enough Rafe, Joel, Megan, Jim and even Captain Banks assembled in the break room, looking expectantly at the monitor, waiting for the appearance of their guinea pig. The excitement grew with every moment. Still no Blair. He must have run into one of the ladies of the precinct. Very few of them were immune to his charm. While the younger ones looked at him like the best dish of a buffet, the older women felt the need to satisfy their maternal instincts on him.

Finally, a movement. The door to the morgue opened and their unaware observer stepped into the room. ‘Dan?’ Just two steps more and he would walk into their little trap. Sandburg moved forward and stepped into the photoelectric barrier. Showtime! The puppet popped up and Blair, startled, moved a step back, then another step, but he lost his footing, stumbled and finally went down. The beginning laughter of the watchers died when they saw how his head connected with the ground. Hard.

The sickening sound of breaking bones sounded like a thunder in Jim’s ears. “Call an ambulance!” he cried out, already in motion. He ran down the stairs, the elevator moving much too slow for him. In a time that must have been his personal best he reached the morgue, falling to his knees, searching for a pulse.

The sight of his friend was devastating. It didn’t give him much reason to hope. More and more blood was pooling underneath Blair’s head. He appeared very pale and fragile, lying there like a broken doll. But against all odds there was a pulse, although slow and very weak. He clung to his hope. Blair was still alive.

“I’m so sorry, Chief. Stay with me, help is on the way. Please, Blair, don’t leave me!”

Dan Wolf barreled into the morgue, kneeling down beside Ellison and examined the student. He started an IV.

“There isn’t much we can do here. He needs surgery and that as fast as possible. Did you call an ambulance?”

“Yes, we did. God, Dan, will he make it? He has to make it. Where is that damn ambulance! Don’t give up, buddy, stay with me!”

Dan looked at the detective with sympathetic eyes. He liked the young observer, but his experience let him know how small his chances for surviving were. At the moment, it was all a question of time. If Sandburg would make it to the hospital alive, he might have a chance to survive. But even if he survived, how much of that brilliant kid would be left?

~-~-~

Megan finished the call, stood by the phone, unmoving, looking at the other shell-shocked detectives wide-eyed. She didn’t notice the tears that ran down Rafe’s cheeks or the movement of Brown’s lips as he prayed soundlessly. She was absolutely numb, not able to string two thoughts together, now that all useful work was done.

Joel was staring at the monitor, waiting for a sign, any sign, that Blair was okay. But one look at Ellison's tear-streaked face was enough for him to realize that it wouldn’t come. Please god, not Blair! He remembered very well all the times the young man had helped him, always gentle and unobtrusive.

Simon Banks was berating himself soundlessly. How could he have allowed such a stupid prank? One word from him and all that wouldn’t have happened. They couldn’t lose the kid over such a dumb thing! Ellison would never get over his guilt-trip if the kid wouldn’t make it. Hell, none of them would.

~-~-~

Jim Ellison paced the hospital floors. Blair had made it to the hospital alive - but that was the only information he gathered so far. He had called his colleagues and told them the meager facts. If there weren't the little fact that someone had to be present at Major Crimes, all detectives along with the captain would have joined his pacing. The mood in the bullpen was on it’s lowest. And that wasn’t likely to change until his guide was back, sound and safe.

Finally, the doctor. She was small with a badly tamed riot of brown curls and reminded him painfully of his partner.

“Detective Ellison? You’re waiting for news about Blair Sandburg, right? I’m Dr. Nagel. I was part of the operation team that took care of Mr. Sandburg's injury. We repaired most of the damage, now only time can tell what aftereffects this unfortunate incident will have.”

“What kind of after-effects can be expected?”

“”We better move to the doctor’s lounge. That could take some time. Follow me, please.”

The doctor’s lounge was nicely decorated, painted in soothing colors. A nice change from the stark white walls of the hospital floors.

“Sit down, Detective. Coffee?”

He nodded, impatient to get the information about his friend. The doctor poured them their drinks, then steered him to the brown sofa in the corner.

“Okay, the range of possible after-effects is very large. The most probable is a coma. Since it was an open fracture we have to be prepared that he might develop meningitis. He’s receiving antibiotics to prevent that.”

She paused briefly, studying him intently.

“Do you really want to know all possible outcomes?”

“I want to know what we have to expect. I understand that you can’t tell me what will happen, I just want to know what might. Please, Dr. Nagel!”

She sipped at her coffee, frowning, concentrating.

“Well, he could have seizures, be in a vegetative state for a few days or his whole life, he could lose one or more of his senses. Then we have to think of amnesia or regression, a decrease of intelligence, a change of personality, aphasia. That is a disorder of the central nervous system that affects the ability to use and understand words. We have to fear paralysis, muscle spasms or problems to coordinate movements of his extremities. In most cases the victims of head injuries develop severe headaches, vertigo or a tinnitus, have attention deficits, hypo- or hypersensitivities and have great problems to control their emotions. But you have to understand, Detective, every case is different. We had persons with minor injuries who never left the vegetative state and I had one case where the victim was injured much worse than Mr. Sandburg and she had literally no after-effects at all. So, the odds may be against Mr. Sandburg, but he is young and healthy. We should hope and pray for the best.”

“How is his condition at the moment?”

“We removed a few bone fragments. At the moment he is in a coma and that is a good thing for him for now. There will be a swelling of the injured area in the next hours and he better sleeps through it, since it could be really unpleasant. He might remain in a coma until his wound is healed or longer. But we can’t predict that.”

Ellison ran his hands over his face. Time to call Simon. And, dear god, Naomi. How do you tell a mother that her only child was in critical condition, maybe dying, and all that because some stupid prank?

“What can we do to help him? Can we sit with him and talk to him?”

“If his condition is stable you can see him tomorrow morning. But call me before; here’s my card. My shift starts at seven am. If you call me after seven thirty I can tell you something definitely. And of course you will be notified immediately if his condition should change.”

“Is there a possibility that I can see him today? Only for a short time? I need to see him.”

“I see what I can do. Please wait here for a moment, I’ll take a look at Mr. Sandburg’s condition.”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

~-~-~

It took longer than a moment. It felt like eternity. When she finally came back he could barely restrain the nervous bouncing of his leg. She smiled reassuringly.

“You can see him for a short moment. Follow me, please. Your cellphone is turned off?”

“Of course, doctor. How is he?”

“No change. He’s still in a deep coma. He won’t be aware of our presence. In here, Detective Ellison. Please stay at the door.”

In the room was a multitude of machines, beeping, hissing, ticking softly. In between all the technical equipment was the hospital bed with white linen and under a white bandage the much too pale face of his guide. The scenery looked unreal in its lack of colors.

Even though he should have known all along that they would have to shave Blair’s head for the surgery it hit him like a ton of bricks to realize the curls were gone. The student had a frightening fragile appearance, nothing of his usual vibrant spirit perceptible.

Jim's vision went blurry as tears began to pool in his eyes. He felt a gentle hand on his arm and the gesture reminded him so strongly of his guide that he expected to see Sandburg beside him for a moment.

“It’s time for you to go home, Detective. Call me tomorrow morning, okay?”

“Thank you, Dr. Nagel. Please, take good care of him. He is a very special person.”

“I will. Try to get some sleep, maybe ask a few of his friends to pray for him. It might help him - certainly it won’t hurt him - and it will surely help his friends and it might help you. Good night, Detective.”

“Good night, Doctor.”

~-~-~

When he arrived home he didn’t remember anything about how he got there. The short distance from his car to the loft left him exhausted. He felt bone tired and his mind was totally numb. Fully clothed he fell unto the couch and was asleep before his head touched the pillow.

He woke up to a dark loft. He looked at the clock of the Video Recorder. Three thirty in the morning. He felt too wired to go back to sleep so he started to look through the papers on Blair’s desk to find the address of Naomi. Since she spent much of her time abroad it might be the right time to call her.

After a few minutes with the creative arrangement of Sandburg’s documents he found the piece of paper his partner had shown him last week after a call from Naomi. Wyoming.

Still, he decided to call her at once. She had a right to know as soon as possible. Taking a deep breath he tried to steel himself for the confrontation with his partner’s mother. He dialled, it rang six times, then a tired voice answered him.

 “Hello?”

“This is Jim Ellison. I need to talk to Naomi Sandburg, please.”

“Sure. I'll go get her. Hang on. Could take awhile.”

“Thank you.”

“Uh huh.”

After two minutes a wide-awake Naomi Sandburg answered.

“Jim, is that you? Is something wrong with Blair?”

“He’s at the hospital. A… a head injury and he’s in a coma. Could you come here, please?”

“How bad is it, Jim?”

“The doctor said he’s stable at the moment. He’s in a coma and… and they don’t know when he will wake up. It’s all my fault, Naomi, only my fault.”

“I’ll take the first plane I can get. I’ll call you back and tell you when I will arrive.”

“Hang on, I give you the cellphone number of Captain Banks. If you can’t reach me I’m probably at the hospital.”

He heard her grab a pen and a piece of paper and gave her the number of Simon’s cellphone, his and Rhonda’s number at the PD and his own e-mail address. He heard the pen scratch over the paper and Naomi’s hitched breath.

“What hospital is he in? Just in case I can’t reach you, I want to see him as soon as I arrive.”

“Cascade General. He’ll be in ICU for quite some time. I’m so sorry, Naomi.”

“Why, Jim? Did you whack his head?”

“No. God, Naomi, it was such a stupid prank. He was just supposed to get a scare but he stumbled and fell. I should have warned him, should have prevented the whole thing.”

“Did you want him to be hurt?”

“No, of course not. But he is hurt. They cut all his hair; he will be devastated when he wakes up. God, I hope he will wake up. How could we do something so fucking stupid!”

“Jim, I want you to listen to me. Yes, Blair is hurt. Yes, it might be your fault. Or not. That does not matter now! Get the hell over your damned guilt! These feelings won’t help Blair. They will only eat at you and Blair needs you now. What I want you to do is write down everything you think you did wrong and then burn the paper. Let go of your guilty feelings. You’ll be more help for my baby that way. Will you do that for me?”

“I will. Thank you, Naomi. How can you be so understanding?”

“I learned a lot from my son. I’ll go now and see how fast I can get to my baby. Take care, Jim, I’ll call you back. Bye, Jim.”

“Bye, Naomi.”

Jim stared at the telephone. Trust Naomi to have some new age solution for his guilt-trip. But he felt obliged to do what she told him. With a writing pad and a pen he sat down on the couch and started to write.

I did not warn my guide.

I took part in planning that stupid thing.

I failed to protect my best friend.

I’m guilty.

Blair could die or be irrevocably damaged because of me.

I failed my guide, roommate, best friend and little brother.

He looked at the paper, the evidence of his wrongdoing and mentally added: I’m scum. How could he possibly let go of his guilty conscience? Would it really be bad for Blair if he kept feeling like he did? Naomi thought so. His thoughts and feelings were so chaotic and confused. It was probably for the best to follow Naomi's orders.

He went into the kitchen, grabbed a box of matches and lit one corner of the whole writing pad. When the heat was too much for him to hold it any longer he put it in the sink and watched it burn.

“I’m sorry, Blair. Please, forgive me.”

Using a meditation method his guide had shown him he pictured his guilt as a ball of ice and mentally threw it into the flame and imagined seeing it melt and run down the drain. Surprisingly he felt a little better.

He looked at the clock again. Four fifteen. Too early to call the hospital. Too early to call Simon. He dialled the number of his captain’s office anyway.

“Banks.”

“It’s Ellison. I take it you couldn’t sleep either.”

“I didn’t even try. I called the hospital half an hour ago and they said he’s in a coma, but stable.”

“The doctor told me the same yesterday. I’m sorry, I wanted to call you as soon as I came home but I was so tired, I couldn’t keep my eyes open.”

“That’s okay, Jim. So you didn’t talk to Naomi yet. Do you have her number?”

“I did talk to her about half an hour ago, I gave her your number in case my cellphone is turned off when I’m at the hospital when she calls me back to tell me when she’ll arrive.”

“Jim, Jim, breathe! What did she say?”

“She’ll be here as soon as possible. And she told me to let go of my guilt, because it’s not good for Blair.”

“God, how could we possibly let go? I don’t think I will sleep till they tell me he’s okay.”

“She told me to write down everything I did wrong and then burn the paper. It actually helped, if only a bit. You should try it.”

“Sounds very much like Naomi Sandburg. I will try it. I don’t think it will help but it certainly won’t make it worse.”

“Since we talk about helping, Blair’s doctor told me to ask his friends to pray for him. I certainly will do it. Simon, is it okay if I spend the next few days at the hospital? I won’t be of any use at the PD anyway.”

“I assumed that. I’ve cleared your schedule. You have the next two weeks off, after that we’ll talk again. Do you think it’s okay if I visit the kid this evening?”

“I’ll talk to his doctor this morning, after that I’ll call you. You’ll be at your office around eight am?”

“I’ll be here. God, Jim, this time we really fucked up.”

“That we did, Simon, without a doubt. I’ll call you later. Bye, Simon.”

“Bye, Jim.”

For the next three hours Jim explained to God why Blair should be spared. He talked about his guide’s character, about all the things his young friend had to give. How much he already had done to help an ill-tempered sentinel.

He wasn’t aware that he was crying most of the time. The strict control he usually had over his feelings was gone and he didn’t think he would get it back anytime soon.

~-~-~

Captain Simon Banks was sitting at his desk, staring blankly ahead. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t told Jim everything the doctor said. Dr. Jennings hadn’t been very sympathetic when he told him bluntly that he was surprised the young man was still alive. God, what a mess. He wasn’t looking forward to the next few days. The emotions in the bullpen wouldn’t be easy to handle, he was quite sure about it.

He opened his desk drawer and searched for that certain card. There. Dr. Janice Watson. He wasn’t thrilled about ordering his detectives to visit the department shrink. But that was exactly what he would do. It was the only thing he could think of to help his subordinates and himself short of a miraculous recovery of the longhaired anthropologist.

~-~-~

After two phone calls, first to Dr. Nagel, then to his captain, he finally was on his way to the hospital. On the passenger seat sat the bag containing Blair CD-player, a few of his favourite CDs and books and a scented candle. He was determined to try everything he could to stimulate his guide’s senses to coach him back to consciousness.

When the hospital came into sight his nervousness grew. What if he wasn’t able to help Blair? The student always thought of a way to help him, now it was his turn. There was simply no leeway to fuck this up. He parked his truck and went to his meeting with Blair’s doctor.

Dr. Nagel was already waiting for him.

“Good morning, Detective. And yes, it really is a good morning. We expected some problems due to the swelling but he’s doing much better than we could have hoped for.”

“Good morning, Doctor. I’m very relieved to hear that.”

“Okay, let’s go through the ground rules. You’re aware that I’m stretching the visiting hours for you? Fine. Okay. You can talk to him or play music. No flowers, not more than one visitor at one time and no touching the medical equipment. Okay?”

“Okay. What about candles? I brought a scented one he likes very much.”

“No candles. If you want to stimulate his sense of smell try scented oil. But keep that very subtle. That works better in my experience.”

“Right, no candles. Should have known that.”

“Detective Ellison, you’re in a very stressful situation. Take it easy.”

“Right. Call me Jim, please.”

“Only if you call me Abby.”

“Deal. Something else I’ve got to know?”

“You have to be patient. Don’t expect too much, Jim. He has a lot of healing to do and that will take some time.”

During their conversation they moved through the floors till they reached Blair’s room. Jim looked at the door anxiously. Abby smiled encouraging and opened the door.

The view hadn’t changed. His guide still looked too pale, too lifeless.

“Can I touch him?”

“Yes, of course. Don’t touch his head or the sensors. Are you okay? Jim? You don’t look too good.”

“I’m okay, Abby. It just hurts to see him so…still.”

“Sit down. I’ll leave you with your friend. Call me if you have any questions.”

“Thanks, Abby.”

Alone with Blair he started to talk softly.

“I’m so sorry, Chief. We really didn’t want to hurt you. It was supposed to be fun, but it was just plain stupid. Please, Blair, be okay. I promise, I’ll take better care of you. No stupid pranks anymore. I’ll listen to you and do all the tests you can think of. I’ll forget the house rules, but please, I need you. Don’t leave me, buddy.”

He continued his soft monolog till his voice started to get harsh. Than he started the CD-player and laid the headphones on the pillow, beside his friends left ear. He moved very carefully, making sure there won’t be any motion of Blair’s head.

When his voice recovered, he started talking again, only interrupted by the occasionally appearing nurse, controlling the monitors, changing the position of the limp form or changing the IV bags.

Later, Dr. Nagel returned and told him in that tone of voice that would make any drill-sergeant proud to get something to eat. He was surprised to see it was already noon. Obediently he went to the hospital cafeteria and found something actually edible. After a short stop at the bathroom he returned to his place beside his friend’s bed to continue his vigil.

~-~-~

Five pm and Simon Banks had officially one of the worst days of his life. First the meeting with his detectives. To his astonishment none of them protested against the ordered visit to the department shrink. When he realized that Megan was barely containing her emotions, he sent her to see Dr. Watson at once.

After three hours of observing how his detectives struggled to look at each other he was called to the chief and got the dressing down of his life. The next promotions would skip Major Crimes, that much was sure. He was just lucky that his department worked very successfully in the last year or they certainly wouldn’t have got away that easily.

But the reprimand had at least one good result: the department would cover all expenses of the hospital stay and even the loss of earning of the teaching assistant. It took a lot of begging to convince the chief to allow Ellison a paid leave of absence till his guide recovered. Well, for three month anyway.

Time to face his friends. All the way to the hospital he was thinking about the kid, about the words of the doctor. The nurse was very helpful and accompanied him to Blair’s room. She was a bit impatient, but he continued to walk slowly. He was dreading the meeting, fearing what awaited him.

The nurse opened the door. She motioned him to wait outside and moved into the room. After a few moments Ellison stepped outside.

“Hi, Simon.”

“Jim. How is the kid?”

“The doctor is satisfied with his progress. He’s still in a coma, but they downgraded his condition from critical to serious.”

“When I talked to the doctor last night he wasn’t very encouraging.”

“His doctor is a she, Dr. Abby Nagel. She’s fantastic. I would introduce you, but her shift is over.”

“I spoke with a Dr. Jennings. You think we could go in?”

“Only one visitor at one time. Abby was very strict about that. Go on in, I need to use the bathroom anyway. Take your time.”

Simon nodded and slowly walked in. He was shocked by the kid’s pale face under the white bandage with obviously missing curls. He wiped his tears away as he sat down.

“God, Sandburg, do you have any idea how hard this is? I never imagined seeing you that way, let alone all that being my mistake. I’m so sorry, kid. I hope that someday you can forgive me.”

He took Blair’s hand in his. He couldn’t shake off the picture of his son lying there, motionless, fragile. How could he face Naomi Sandburg after what he had done? He desperately hoped that his appointment with Dr. Watson tomorrow would help him to cope. Maybe he should send Jim to the shrink too, this had to be hardest for him.

The nurse finished her task and left the room. Left alone with the still form on the bed he started to cry in earnest. He had never been that miserable in his whole life.

“I’m sorry, Blair, but I can’t stay. It hurts so damned much to see you like this. I promise, I’ll come back. Get better, son, please.”

Much faster than his moving in he left the room. Jim was already there and, seeing his face, let him to the chairs in the corner. Jim laid his arm around his shoulder.

“God, Jim, that was so hard. He looks so small; he reminds me so much of Daryl. We can’t lose the kid. And I wasn’t even able to spend more than five minutes with him. I’m so pathetic.”

“Calm down, Simon. You’re not pathetic; the whole situation is just fucked up. Did Naomi call you? My cellphone was turned off the whole day.”

“No, she didn’t call. I had a nice chat with the chief. You’re on paid leave. For three month from today if necessary. I can tell you, he wasn’t happy with our department. And Megan nearly broke down this morning. Jim, we need a miracle to survive this.”

“We’ll get over it, Simon. Can you wait here? They’ll throw me out in twenty minutes and I like to say goodbye to Blair.”

“Sure, Jim. Take your time. Maybe I’m not a complete basket-case anymore when you’re finished.”

Jim gave him a wry smile and stepped back into the room. He was astonished how well Jim dealt with the situation. Maybe he didn’t need to see the shrink after all. Twenty minutes alone with his thoughts. Too much. He went to search for a cup of coffee.

After his second coffee Jim was finished and came out again. He looked tired and sad.

“Come on, Jim, I treat you to dinner. I bet you didn’t have one decent meal today.”

~-~-~

The dinner with Simon had been a depressing event. The captain was on a huge guilt-trip, worse than his own. He finally convinced his boss to try Naomi’s method; Simon needed any help he could get. Fortunately he had an appointment with the department shrink the next day. When his captain asked him if he needed to see the shrink, he declined the offer, for the moment spending time with Blair was his best medicine.

He stepped into his living room and checked the answering machine for a message from Naomi. She had called around noon.

Hi, Jim. I guess you’re with my baby, so I simply leave you the time of my arrival. The plane will land around eight o’clock tomorrow morning. I hope to see you there. If not, I take a taxi to the hospital. See you tomorrow, Jim. Bye.

Eight o’clock was a good time. They wouldn’t let him into Blair’s room before eight anyway. He wasn’t really looking forward to meeting Naomi, but it would be good for Blair to have his mother nearby. He got new bed linen and made Blair’s room ready for her stay.

Then he sat down and leafed through the book he purchased after he parted with Simon. He needed to know as much as possible about what Blair had to expect. He read a few minutes and then fell asleep on the couch again.

He found himself in the jungle of the spirit plane. But he was not alone. Standing right before him was a broad grinning Blair.

“Jim, man, am I glad to see you!”

His guide moved towards him and he automatically opened his arms and engulfed the smaller man in a bear hug. He buried his face in Blair’s curls.

“Blair, Chief, I, I…”

He didn’t know what to say. To see Blair again, healthy and strong. If that only was real life!

“I missed you, Chief. God, you can’t imagine how much. I’m so sorry, Blair, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“That’s okay, Jim. I didn’t intend to die that early but I feel happy now. I’m content. Death isn’t as bad as it’s reputation.”

“But Blair, you aren’t dead. You’re in a coma and the doctor is very optimistic. You’ll be okay, buddy.”

“You’re sure? This feels exactly like the last time, only then I was pulled into my body again. I’m quite sure that I’m dead.”

Okay, we’re definitely not in Kansas anymore.

“What do you mean, like the last time?”

“When I was eight I got an electric shock. Talk about a major rush! I was revived after four minutes, but for four minutes there was no heartbeat and I didn’t breathe. I left my body, only to be pulled back. It felt the same this time, without the being dragged back part.”

Jim was shocked. To imagine Blair could have died and he would never have met him! But he must be mistaken; he couldn’t be dead. Or had something happened since he left the hospital? God, please, not that!

“When do you think you died, Blair? Should I have stayed at the hospital?”

“I don’t remember being in a hospital. I fell down and then I found myself here. I’ve been waiting for you, Big Guy. I’m so glad that you’re here now.”

Blair stepped out of the embrace and sat down on a log and patted the space beside him. Jim sat down, laying his arm around his friend's shoulders. He wasn’t ready yet to lose the contact to the younger man.

“Please Blair, believe me. You’re still alive. Try to wake up, okay?”

“How, Jim? I don’t feel my body. I feel no connection to it. Maybe I will be pulled back again, when I’m healed. I just don’t know what to do.”

“Try that visualisation method you taught me. Imagine your body and getting back into it. You know what I mean?”

“Yes, Jim, I promise I’ll try it. But not now. Let me enjoy our time together, okay? I’ll try it as soon as you're gone, I promise.”

“Okay, Buddy.”

For the rest of his stay he simply revelled in his guide’s presence, never losing touch to him. When he woke up, the loss was like a physical pain.

This morning he awoke at six o’clock. That left him enough time for a healthy breakfast of the kind his guide had tried to convince him to have. Funny, how he followed all of his suggestions now. He wished Blair would be here to see it. He would even try one of these terrible algae shakes if that meant his friend were okay.

He left the loft early, so wouldn’t miss Naomi even if the traffic were bad. It wasn’t, and he had half an hour to spare before she arrived. He used the time to call Abby, asking for changes.

Naomi’s plane was on time and he hurried to greet her. She was smiling, but he could see in her eyes how much she was worried.

“Hallo, Naomi. You look great.”

“You too. Do you have any news?”

“I called his doctor just before you arrived. She says he’s a really fast healer, but she couldn’t say when he’ll wake up. He’s stable. You can’t imagine how relieved I was. I had a dream last night where he told me that he was thinking that he’s dead and he knows that because he died when he was eight. For a moment I really thought that was reality.”

Frowning, she handed him her luggage.

“He had a bad accident when he was eight, an electric shock. They needed four minutes to revive him, the longest four minutes of my life. I don’t know what to think about that. He didn’t really die that time, at least not permanently. If he feels the same they might be able to revive him again.”

He knew it was no dream, but was depressed anyway to have proof. Blair was alive; Dr. Nagel was thrilled about his progress when he talked to her half an hour ago. So why did this vision unsettle him that much?

“I’m sure about it, Naomi. Blair is a fighter. If he has beaten death then he will beat that coma now.”

He spoke with a confidence he didn’t feel. Naomi smiled at him and nodded. He was quite sure that she was looking through his façade, but since she didn’t mention it, he was happy to let it rest. They moved out of the airport and after he stowed away her luggage they were on their way to the hospital.

They didn’t talk on the drive at all. Both lost in their thought, not sharing them, even though they both had the very same object. He broke the silence when they pulled into the hospital parking lot.

“I’ve arranged for you to meet with Blair’s doctor. Her name is Abby Nagel. She is a fantastic person, I’m sure you’ll like her.”

She didn’t answer, just nodded shortly. He could see her anguish and took her in his arms. After a short moment she stepped out of his embrace, a tentative smile on her face and took a deep breath.

“Time to see my baby.”

He took her by the arm and they stepped inside the building. At the nurse’s station he asked for Dr. Nagel and got the information that she was called to an emergency and would see them as soon as possible. Naomi decided to use the time to see her son. Jim accompanied her to Blair’s door and explained to her that only one visitor was allowed.

She straightened her clothes, took a deep breath and resolutely stepped in. Seeing her son so motionless was very hard for her. She couldn’t remember ever seeing him that still; even asleep he usually was in constant motion.

His aura had changed. She had always been amazed in what bright colors his aura shone, but now it was diminished. The beautiful red that had formerly surrounded his head and heart was gone. He was still her son, but a part of him was missing. She desperately hoped he would get that back when he was healed. But if not, if he was handicapped or changed, it wouldn’t change anything, he would be her baby forever, she would never cease to love him.

She stroked his forearm, mindful of the IV-line. He looked young and vulnerable and she felt the need to protect her baby, but wasn’t sure against what. She started to sing softly, a song he had loved when he was a little boy. He showed no reaction, so she started to talk to him.

After a few moments a nurse came in to change the IV bag. When Naomi looked at her, she smiled.

“Dr. Nagel will be with you in a minute. You can talk to her in the doctor’s lounge. I’ll take you there if you want.”

Naomi stood up and with a soft kiss to the back of Blair’s hand she moved outside with the nurse. Jim was waiting for her before the door and she moved into his embrace. She was thankful that the detective wasn’t too reserved to offer her comfort. She hooked her arm under his and together they went to the doctor’s lounge.

She liked the room. It was kept in earth colors, creating a pleasant atmosphere. An oasis of peace in the middle of the battlefield between life and death.

Abby breezed into the room like a whirlwind. She shook hands with her visitors.

“Good morning Mrs. Sandburg, Jim. I’m sorry for the delay, but you know, duty calls.”

“Call me Naomi, please. We surely understand your responsibilities.”

“Thank you, I’m Dr. Abby Nagel. Please call me Abby. Blair is doing really well. His wound is healing very fast. I won’t say that he’s out of danger but his progress is remarkable.”

Naomi was surprised how much the doctor reminded her of her son. The same energy, the same smile, the curly hair very similar, if a bit longer. Well, a lot longer at the moment.

“When do you think he’ll wake up, Abby?”

“That’s hard to say. Every patient with that kind of injury recovers differently. He’s making great progress. The physical wound should be healed in less than two weeks if he keeps that speed up. But that doesn’t tell much about when he’ll wake up. If you keep up talking to him it should help. I’m sorry, but I simply don’t know how long it will take.”

“I did a bit of reading yesterday. A wound like that should take at least three weeks to heal, right?”

“You’re right, Jim. But as I said, he’s a really fast healer. He was hurt the day before yesterday, but if you look at his wound you’d think it happened a week ago. Has he always been that way, Naomi?”

“Pretty much, yes. I think it was self-preservation of his body. He always had too much energy and spending a lot of time in bed would have driven him nuts, or he‘d exploded from the entire overload. That’s why it’s twice as hard, seeing him so motionless.”

“He’ll get better, Naomi. We expected meningitis - he didn’t get it. Than we expected seizures, due to the swelling - he never had them and the swelling is gone by now. We have every reason to be optimistic.”

“I have another problem, Abby. I want to stay with Blair as much as possible and I guess, Naomi feels the same.”

One dirty look directed at him from the flower child.

“Sorry, Naomi, I just didn’t want to make an assumption. I’m quite sure you want to spend as much time as possible with Blair. So, Abby, is there a possibility we both could visit him together?”

Abby smiled at the byplay. They seemed to get along pretty well although they looked as if they lived in different worlds.

“Now that you mention it, there is actually. The room he’s in is just too small for two visitors and a nurse. But there is always the VIP-suite.”

She made a dramatic pause and waited for reactions. The detective simply raised his eyebrows and Naomi shot her an expecting glance.

“For my doctorial thesis I worked with coma patients in the usual hospital environment and in, well, let’s just say a room a bit more friendly, more colors and more space. The hospital kept it after I finished. It has the same equipment the ICU has and it’s free and Blair is stable enough to move him.”

“So, what was the result of your study? Does the friendlier environment help with the recovery?”

Jim was genuinely interested. Maybe that was a way to speed up the recovery of his guide.

“The time of the hospital stay decreased about eleven percent. I’ll show you the room, okay? I’m really proud of it. Follow me, please!”

She went ahead, practically bouncing on her toes. Jim was about to ask Naomi if Blair really was an only child but changed his mind when he saw the tears in Naomi’s eyes. These similarities had to be painful for her. Abby let them to another room, opened the door and stepped back.

The colors were the same as in the doctor’s lounge; even the heart monitor and the other medical devices he could see were kept in the same warm colors. Naomi was already in the middle of the room.

“The vibes in this room are fantastic! And the colors are the same as in the doctor’s lounge. Both of the rooms are incredible!”

“Thank you, Naomi. The doctor’s lounge actually was used the same way like this room during the study. The position of the room was not really suited for the purpose, so it was turned into the lounge after the study was done. So, we’ll move Blair into this room this afternoon, okay?”

“Thank you, Abby. We really appreciate what you’re doing for Blair and for us.”

“You’re welcome. I have to go on my round now, I’ll see you later.”

And like she breezed in earlier she was gone. Jim and Naomi went back to Blair’s room, taking turns in sitting with him.

~-~-~

If Simon thought the last day was bad, this one was even worse. First Megan disappeared without a trace until Rhonda found her in the restroom. She obviously had had a nervous breakdown and he sent her to the shrink again.

Shortly after that Rafe and Brown started a fight over some unimportant detail in one of their reports, which left Rafe with a black eye and his partner with a bleeding nose. He summoned them into his office for a little attitude-adjustment, but his heart wasn’t in it. He knew, the reason wasn’t the paperwork, or their different approach of it; it was the guilt.

He could relate to that, but the emotions started to get dangerous. His detectives were absent-minded, and in no way fit to face criminals. But he couldn’t send them all home; someone had to do the job.

They all were falling apart. Even Joel, who was experienced and usually very responsible, had started to crack under the strain. Around noon he was on the scene of a bank robbery in progress and took a really stupid risk. It was pure luck that he not only survived, but actually stopped the perps.

He had no idea what to do about the situation. Naomi’s little ritual had actually helped him. But he didn’t think he should approach his detectives with Naomi’s new age methods.

The shift was over, but his next duty wouldn’t make the day any better. Time to face Naomi Sandburg. What could he possibly tell her? ‘I’m the biggest moron in a department of idiots.’ That was the only explanation for the stupid stunt they had pulled. And the kid was fighting for his life, all that because they wanted to make fun of the student. He would kick his own ass, if he could.

On the drive to the hospital he was thinking about what to say to her. His mind was blank and he had to force himself to pay attention to the traffic.

It was a small miracle that he made the distance without accident. The door to Sandburg’s room was open, but it was empty. He was starting to panic when Jim appeared beside him.

“It’s okay, Simon, he was only moved to another room. Naomi loves that room; you’ve got to see it. You even have the chance to meet Abby, she’s just with Blair.”

Relieved he let Jim lead him to another room. For a moment he had feared the worst. Jim opened the door and he took a surprised step back. It surely didn’t look like your average hospital room. It was big, full of pleasant colors.

The kid actually looked better. He had a bit of color in his face, made a healthier impression. Naomi was sitting beside the bed, holding Blair’s hand. The young person in the white coat was the famous Abby, he assumed. She looked young and reminded him of the observer with her infectious smile and her energy.

“Hello, Ms. Sandburg. Nice to see you, I just wish it were under different circumstances.”

“Nice to see you too, Captain Banks. Did you meet Dr. Nagel?”

“Hello, Dr. Nagel. I’m Simon Banks, Jim’s boss and I’m the one responsible for Blair’s injury.”

“Call me Abby. I’m familiar with the situation that led to the accident and I think it was just bad luck. You certainly did not intend for him to get hurt. So, don’t expect any damnation from me.”

“Thank you, Abby. Call me Simon, please.”

She nodded at him and finished her examination.

“That looks all very good. Visiting hours end in ten minutes, so use your time. Bye.”

Naomi patted on the chair beside her. He sat down without a word and Jim moved to stand behind him. Naomi started to talk softly to her son, stroking his hand. He just sat beside her, listened and looked at the kid lying in the bed.

After a few minutes they said their goodbyes and left. Simon followed Jim’s truck to the loft and helped Jim carry Naomi’s luggage upstairs.

Jim started dinner and left his captain alone with his guest, so that they could talk in private. They sat down on the couch. Simon was looking at his shoes, unable to meet her eyes.

“So, what exactly happened? You’re the second to take the blame. Jim already told me that he was guilty.”

It took some time to explain the whole incident to her. He was crying when he described how Blair fell down and remained lying on the ground. Naomi was crying with him, taking his hand.

“Simon, listen to me. Jim isn’t guilty and you are not guilty. Accidents happen. That was admittedly a stupid one, but an accident nevertheless. Guilt won’t help anyone, so get over it. Your detectives need you now, you have to be strong for them.”

“God, you’ve got no idea. The whole department is falling apart. Megan had a nervous breakdown this morning, Rafe and Brown had a fight and Joel nearly killed himself on a crime scene. What can I do to help them? I ordered them to see the department shrink, but it didn’t have much effect on Megan. She met Dr. Watson yesterday and her condition was even worse today. I’m completely clueless what to do.”

“You could invite them to meet me here. I could try to put them straight. You think they would accept an invitation from me?”

“I guess they would feel obliged to come. I’ll tell them. Jim, you’re okay with a group session in your home?”

“Sure. Everything I can do to help. Will you join us for dinner?”

“Sorry, I’ll have to pass. I’ve got an appointment with Dr. Watson in an hour. I’ll leave a message on your answering machine about the meeting. I’ll try to get them here tomorrow, is that okay for you?”

“That’s fine, Simon. See you tomorrow.”

“Bye, Naomi, Jim.“

Simon left the loft in a better spirit, now that he had faced his fear. The appointment with the shrink was a piece of cake compared to this.

~-~-~

This night Jim actually made it to his own bed. He was wondering if Blair’s condition was somehow the reason he fell asleep as soon as he found a flat surface. He didn’t come to a conclusion, because he was already asleep.

He was immediately greeted by his guide. Blair looked happy, full of energy and literally bouncing on his feet.

“Jim! What took you so long, Big Guy? How are your senses? Am I still in a coma? I have to tell you, I tried the whole time I was alone here, but I still don’t feel my body! Are you okay? You look better, man! The last time, was that yesterday?, you looked way too pale, like a zombie!”

“Stop, Chief! Take a breath, Blair, my head is already spinning.”

“Sorry, Jim.”

The younger man was grinning sheepishly at his sentinel. It took him a visible effort to contain his energy. What the motionless form in the hospital bed lacked of energy, the Blair of the spirit plane had in abundance.

“My senses are okay. I had no problems at all. Abby moved you into a new room today. Really nice.”

“Abby or the room?”

“Both, actually. Abby is so much like you it’s almost frightening. Promise me not to date her when you’re better. If you two had children together they would be a danger for mankind.”

“Why? Because of the brilliant mind and incredible good looks?”

“No, I was talking about the human energizer bunny.”

“Very funny, Jim. So, I have a nice new room and a nice doctor? Sounds good.”

“I hope you’ll see it for yourself very soon, Chief.”

“Me too, Jim, me too. How was work? Did Simon chain you to the desk or do you work with Megan again? I hope he doesn’t send you out alone.”

“I’m not working at the moment. I’m on paid leave so I can stay with you until you’re okay. Abby lets us stay with you for ten hours every day. If you don’t wake up soon, Naomi will tell me all of your embarrassing childhood stories.”

“Naomi is with you? You’re getting along okay?”

“We’re great. She’s helping me to deal with my guilt. Tomorrow she’ll have a group therapy with Simon, Megan, Joel, Rafe and Henry at the loft.”

“You’re kidding?”

“No, I’m not. It was Simon’s idea, actually.”

“Things are that bad?”

“You could say that. Megan had a nervous breakdown, Rafe and Henry had a big fight in the bullpen, Joel is taking unnecessary risks and Simon is a walking guilt-trip.”

“Shit. I always thought Megan was the strongest of the whole bunch. Is Joel okay? God, I wish I could help. I’ll try harder to wake up, Jim, I promise! And you promise me you’ll support mom, okay? She’s good at that, she really can help.”

“I will, buddy, I promise.”

Jim sat down on the ground, leaning against a tree, and tucked Blair against his side. For the rest of his stay they sat there and talked.

~-~-~

As soon as Megan arrived, Simon asked her into his office. He was unusually gentle with her, seeing that she still looked awfully.

“Sit down, please. Do you fell any better today?”

“Not really, if I’m honest. But I’ll hold it together, Sir.”

“You’re on desk duty today, and if you have a problem come to me or Rhonda or call Dr. Watson. You’re not alone, Megan.”

“Thank you, Sir. Do you think it’d be okay if I’d visit Sandy?”

“That’s a good idea. I’ll drive by the hospital after work and than I’ll talk to Blair’s mother at the loft. She’s been a big help for me. Maybe you’d like to accompany me? Naomi wants to talk to all of us, if you’re up to it”

“All of us together?”

“Yes. She can really help, Megan.”

“Okay, I’ll do it. I owe it to her.”

“Good. Get some work done!”

She nodded smiling and left his office. He thought about how to approach his other detectives and decided to talk to them together. He opened the door and called them in.

“Sit down. I have a suggestion to make. Naomi Sandburg arrived yesterday and she asked to see us all.”

He studied the faces of his subordinates. Brown looked down to study his shoes intently and Rafe avoided eye contact, looking very uncomfortable. Only Joel was able to look him full in the face, the ghost of a smile around his lips. He would give more than a penny for Taggart’s thoughts at the moment.

“I already talked to her. She isn’t looking for revenge, or confrontation of the guilty party. She can help us; she already helped Jim and me. I can’t order you to go, but please, consider it.”

“I’ll go. When will we meet her?”

No surprise that Joel was the first to agree. He seemed eager to meet Blair’s mother. Well, Taggart had always been a brave man and since he was able to diffuse a bomb he was qualified to face Naomi Sandburg.

“Tonight, seven o’clock. I’ll take Megan to the hospital after work, and we’ll head to the loft with Ellison and Ms. Sandburg. You can come along, if you want.”

“All of us? Is he up to that much excitement?”

Brown had a point there. He grabbed the telephone and called the hospital.

“This is Simon Banks. I’d like to talk to Dr. Nagel, please.”

It took the nurse only five minutes to get the doctor to the phone. He used the time to study his men. Taggart looked relieved, Brown seemed to be deep in thought and Rafe was staring out of the window.

“Hello Abby, this is Simon Banks. How are you?”

“I’m fine, but I think you’re more interested in Blair’s condition, aren’t you? He is doing great, better every day.”

“I’ll visit him again tonight and a few colleagues want to come with me. We’re a bit worried if he’s up to a group of five additional visitors including me.”

“If you don’t storm his room all at once it will be okay. Oh jeez, the next emergency. I think there’s a jinx on this day. See you, Simon.”

“See you, Abby.”

He put the receiver in the cradle and answered Brown’s question.

“No problem. If you want to come along, the doctor agreed. I have to call Ellison before noon and tell him if we’ll come. Rafe, Brown can you let me know it until then?”

“I’ll come along.”

“Me too.”

Brown and Rafe didn’t look comfortable with their decision, but he was fairly sure they wouldn’t back out. He sent his men back to work and left a message on Jim’s answering machine.

 ~-~-~

Shortly after five the floor before Blair’s room was crowded. Simon went into the room. The kid looked better than the last day. His complexion was only a little paler than his usual self. If he weren’t lying so still with so many wires and tubes attached to his body, he would’ve been looking merely asleep. He greeted Jim with a short nod.

“Wow, Abby’s right. He does look better. Where’s Naomi?”

“She went ahead to the loft. Said she didn’t want to interfere when the others visit Blair. Something about bad vibes. Can you give me a lift? She took the truck.”

“You let her drive your truck? Wonders never cease.”

“Very funny, Simon. Naomi suggested to let them have some time with Blair alone, so they wont be ashamed to talk to him.”

“Good idea. Could you tell the others? I’d like to talk to the kid a bit.”

“Sure thing, Simon.”

Jim moved out to greet the detectives and explain the situation to them. Simon sat down and took the young man’s hand.

“You look good, kid. I’m sorry for my last two visits. The first time I was just too much in panic to talk to you, I mean, really talk to you. And yesterday I was too afraid to speak to you in front of Naomi. God, I act like a child. Talk about childish, do you know that Jim lend Naomi his truck? His precious sweetheart nobody is allowed to touch. I miss you, kid. I’m sure you could explain that this is a typical behaviour for a sentinel alpha male in his territory in the summertime or something like that. I hope you wake up soon. We all feel terrible for what we did to you. Naomi forgave me and I hope that you wake up soon. You don’t have to forgive me, that’s not what I wanted to say. Just that I like to say I’m sorry to you and have you answering. You could say that I should go to hell, as long as you’re okay. Well, I guess I should give the others a chance to talk to you. I’ll be back tomorrow. Get better, okay, kid?”

With a last pat to the hand of the unconscious man he moved out, making way to Taggart. Joel closed the door and remained standing there, taking in the room.

It had a nice atmosphere, right for the observer. The person in the bed looked healthy but nothing like Blair. Whenever he had seen the young man he had always been so intense, bubbling over with excitement or mirth. Even when he was sad or angry, he always seemed to radiate his feelings. The form in the hospital bed could be a photograph or a wax statue.

He finally moved over to the chair beside the bed and sat down. He didn’t talk to Sandburg, just sat there and watched him lying there. After a few minutes he stood up and, leaving, spoke his first words inside of the room.

“I’m sorry, Blair.”

With that he left and Megan went in. Like Joel, she stayed at the door at first, surprised how unusual the hospital room was. She composed herself quickly and occupied the chair Taggart just vacated, taking Blair's limp hand.

“Hey, Sandy. You look good, you know? I just want to tell you, how sorry I am. I know that doesn’t help you, but I wish I could do something, anything, to help you. I should have told them not to do anything like that, I should have known better. But what did I do? Nothing! I knew what was planned and I wanted to fit in so I just didn’t think about it, didn’t remember how Robby looked after we played our trick on him. I never told anyone about Robby, nobody knows it was our fault. They thought the horse was frightened and threw him, but it was the shawl, it was moving with the wind and the horse bolted and then Robby fell and I’ll never forget the noise when he hit the ground. He was dead, Blair. Our stupid prank killed him. He never even saw the scarecrow we had planted there. It was meant to be funny, the scarecrow looking like him, but he didn’t see it, the horse did, and he died. God, Sandy, why didn’t I learn something from that? Why do I keep making the same mistakes? And you have to pay for it. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met. You don’t deserve this, nobody does. Please, Blair, get better. I couldn’t live with knowing that I am the cause of you death. I pray for you, Sandy.”

She was sobbing so hard now she couldn’t talk anymore. She went to the sink and washed her face and, after a short kiss to Blair’s forehead, left the room.

Brown stepped in next. He sat down, not really looking at the man in the bed.

“Hey, Hair…”

And he lost it. No Hairboy anymore. He just sat there, staring at Sandburg, no idea what to say or do forthcoming. He stayed for a minute, and then went out.

Rafe stepped in on tiptoes, as if afraid to wake him up. When he started to talk, it was softly, hesitantly.

“Blair. I don’t know what to say, man. Just, you have to know, it wasn’t on purpose. Hurting you, that is. It was meant to be a joke. I was sure you’d think it was funny. I’m so sorry, Blair. I can’t ask you for forgiveness. We always treated you like dirt, didn’t we? You always heard: ‘you’re not a cop!’ We always made fun of you or didn’t believe in your ideas. We should have, Blair, I never met anyone as smart as you. We always expected you to fit our standards; we never bothered to ask what you expected from us. You took so much crap, Kincaid, Lash, you endured Jim’s temper and our indifference and you kept coming back. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. Nobody of us could even pretend to do your work at the University, but you did our job sometimes better than we did. And if you could answer me now, you’d probably say it was nothing. You’re really special, my friend. And I will treat you like a friend if you decide to wake up and if you’d forgive me, some time. Get better, all my best wishes and prayers are with you.”

With a last glance to the figure in the bed he left the hospital room and Jim moved in to say his goodbye to his guide. Then he led the caravan of detectives and captains to the loft to face Blair’s mother.

~-~-~

Naomi had left the hospital at three pm and spent the next three hours in meditation to prepare for the visit of the policemen. When she was finished she cleaned the loft with burning sage, opening all windows afterwards to get rid of the smell before Jim came home. She didn’t want to risk a return performance of the Ellison-sneezing-fit.

Now it was just minutes until she would meet all persons responsible for her son’s condition. It was hard for her. She wanted that meeting for her peace of mind as well as for the sake of the detectives. From the description Simon Banks gave her in the hospital they were overwhelmed by their guilt. They should feel guilt, no doubt about it, but what good would it bring if they destroyed themselves, how would that help her baby?

She heard the steps of many persons in the staircase, but no voices. The steps were heavy, tired. A group of policemen fearing the wrath of a mother. If it’d help her beautiful son she would tear them to pieces, but these persons were her son’s friends, and being that they deserved her help.

She heard the key turning and moved to the door to greet Jim’s colleagues. Simon was the first to enter, which was not surprising, considering he already faced her. He hurried to introduce the others to her, even though she already met detectives Brown and Rafe when she’d been in town last time. Joel Taggart and Megan Conner she saw the first time, but Blair had written her so much about them, it was as if she knew them before.

“Call me Naomi,” she told the group and moved back to the couch while the others removed their jackets. Soon they started to follow her, Jim making a detour to the kitchen to grab a few cans of soft drinks. When they were all seated, Naomi began to speak.

“I know what happened, and I didn’t ask you to come here to discuss it again. Jim told me it was his fault, Simon told me the same and I guess I could hear that from you too. But your guilty feelings wont help my son, and I think we should try to help him.”

She looked in the round, finding nothing but acceptance. Joel took the word.

“I’m very sorry, Naomi. If I could turn back time, I would. Blair is the last person in the world to deserve something like that.”

“I’m sorry.”

Three voices speaking nearly in unison. Naomi smiled at them, understanding that they had to voice their apologies.

“Thank you. Captain Banks told me that you have a few problems dealing with your feelings. I don’t believe in guilt. It doesn’t solve anything; it is an absolutely unnecessary emotion. So, you need to let go of it. Jim and Simon already did this little exercise, but I want you to try it too.”

She explained the little ritual to them and taught them the same method of visualisation Jim had already used. After that she accepted a few more apologies and the guests left. Jim was a bit disappointed.

“That was a short visit. I thought you wanted to talk longer with them?”

“No, not yet. They know now that I don’t hold them responsible, which should help a great deal. If they perform the cleaning ritual it will help too. I’ve made sure that they can come back to talk to me, if they want. Mental healing is no fast process, Jim, you have to be patient.”

Patient he wasn’t. He was dying to talk to his guide again, so he told her he was too tired for dinner and went to bed. Fast asleep after a few seconds he was back on the spirit plane and embraced his guide.

He revived the short group session for his friend, describing the reactions and Naomi's advice.

“She is right, you know? I’ve had enough therapy to know that healing happens in small steps.”

“So, no obfuscation that time? You really had therapy, Chief?”

Blair looked pointedly at the older man, startling Jim by his sudden burst of laughter.

“Yes, Jim, I had. I was kind of hyperactive as a child and tended to send my teachers to insanity. As the only logical solution they sent me to a psychiatrist.”

“So they healed themselves by healing you?”

“They tried. But you know teachers, always one step away from the loony bin.”

“No wonder, having to deal with you.”

He smiled and ruffled his guide's curls. He really enjoyed doing that, knowing that in real life it would take a long time till they’d get that length again. Then they sat down on their favourite log again and he made another attempt to guide Blair through the meditation method they developed to help the young man to leave the spirit plane and wake up again.


Part Two