Prologue:

“I have to go, Simon. You know that Jim doesn’t need me anymore. He has been working with Megan for three months now without a problem. And I need to move on.”

Captain Banks studied the face of his detective. He honestly didn’t expect this anymore. Sandburg did a good job in the year since he became a member of the force. He seemed happy with his new occupation and was well liked among the other policemen, in spite of his status as self-proclaimed fraud. He was worried, for the first four or five month, but everything worked out fine. So, why now?

“I thought you like this job? You want to quit just because Ellison doesn’t depend on you? I don’t understand you, Sandburg.”

Blair hung his head. He really did not want to explain his motivation to his Captain. It was so immature. So he used his best weapon: half-truths.

“Jim is not the reason. There is this old friend of mine who needs my help, you know. It really is important for me. I’ve got no idea how long I will be needed, so I have to quit. I’m sorry, Simon but I need to do that.”

The big man didn’t like that, but what could he possibly do? Sandburg was determined to leave.

“I don’t like that, but I have to accept it. Good luck, Blair. You really did good work for this department. We will miss you.”

“Thank you, Captain. I really enjoyed working under you. Take good care of Jim and the other guys. Goodbye, Simon.”

The younger man quickly left the office, leaving a stunned Simon Banks behind. He would never understand that man, not if he lived for a few hundred years. But God, he would miss his friend.

~-~-~-~-~

*I am such a coward. What will they think about me? To sneak away without saying goodbye to anyone except Simon. That was not fair, to leave the guys without a word. I should at least have left a letter.* But what could he have written? I’m sorry, but I’m jealous of Jim’s girlfriend? That would have gone over well with the other detectives. But unfortunately, it was the truth. He hated her with a passion. One day he caught himself planning her murder in his mind. Then he just knew that he had to leave as fast as possible.

Monica Hardt, soon to be Monica Ellison, was a truly beautiful woman. Tall, with red hair and green eyes she looked like a modern Amazon. She was a detective in Robbery and if he had tried to pick a fight with her he would most likely have lost. She was not only good-looking; she was smart, too. Everyone liked her. Everyone but him.

When he first met her, he felt uncomfortable around her. She was friendly towards him but with every passing moment he disliked her more. He didn’t realize the reason until their fourth meeting. Jim had a slight sensory spike then. Before he could help his Sentinel Monica laid her hand on Jim’s arm and spoke in a soothing tone to him. When Jim smiled thankfully at his girlfriend Blair suddenly new, why he hated her.

Monica was a guide. Worse, she was Jim’s guide.

In the following weeks he witnessed how Jim accepted her help without his usual discussions or resentments. He should have been happy for Jim, but he wasn’t. Every time she was around he searched for an excuse to leave the loft. That woman made him sick. Literally. He came near her and got a migraine. Sometimes that bad that he went to the ER to get a pain shot. The doctors advised him to use relaxation techniques, told him to go on vacation, to take it easy, maybe have an allergy test done. He never saw his physician for the tests because he didn't get the migraines unless he came near Mon-ster.

Jim was oblivious to his former guide’s distress. It was almost scary. Jim got his new guide and ceased to notice Blair. He simply didn’t exist anymore in Jim’s world. So when Jim told him he wanted to talk, he didn’t expect to hear something pleasant. And he was right. In short, unsympathetic words his former Sentinel explained that he wanted to marry Monica and needed his space and that Blair was supposed to move out within the next two weeks.

At approximately the same time Jim asked to be partnered with Megan. For the sake of a case, of course. Blair started to work with Joel, a single ray of light in his world of darkness. He genuinely liked the older man and enjoyed working with him. But it just wasn’t enough anymore. He felt empty, died a little bit with every new day.

When his old friend Jade called him from Australia it was like a gift from God. She needed him, liked him and lived an ocean away. Moving to another continent sounded like a very good idea to him. She even promised him a job. He would teach again, not at university-level but teaching nonetheless. He did not even ask about her problem, just promised to get there immediately to help her.

He left most of his things in storage, sold his car and took the first plane to Australia. He didn’t feel a single thing when he left Cascade. He had been numb for quite some time. So he didn’t feel the tears running down his cheeks.
 

Part 1

Jim was furious. He new all the time that Sandburg would leave him sooner or later but he didn’t even have the grace to say goodbye. That selfish little bastard left him without a thought of his well-being.

Admittedly, he didn’t need his guide that much anymore and Monica was able and willing to take over. But Sandburg did not know that. He always knew the younger man was irresponsible and flighty; he should have been ready for the final betrayal. But it still cut him deep.

He turned around as the bright spot of his life made her way into the loft. She had left for a little run to brighten her mood, obviously without success. She slammed the door hard and threw her keys in the basket near the door. He knew better than asking her. She would talk, if she was ready.

Apparently, she was.

“Jim, we have to talk.”

“Okay,” he answered cautious. She started pacing nervously, so he pulled her down onto the couch.

“Just say it. You’re starting to scare me here. It can’t be that bad, right?”

She started to pick at her sleeve, not looking up.

“No, it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. I wasn’t sure if I should tell you but since we’ll be married in three months I better do. Jim, I’m pregnant. I will have the abortion next week.”

To say Jim was shocked was an understatement. His mind was racing, the thoughts wildly spinning around. He was so stunned that he was unable to yell at her. Fighting for every breath, he began to speak slowly, in an even tone, just loud enough to be heard.

“So you thought you didn’t need to tell me that you will abort a child of mine. You don’t even ask for my opinion, I have nothing to say about that. I’m very well aware that you want to make a career. I know that it is your body. All that I can understand. What I don’t get is: How could you think it was no concern of mine?”

With the last sentence his voice rose. He thought he was furious before but the anger about Sandburg's departure was nothing compared to the cold fury he felt now. How dared she? How could he have misjudged her that bad?

She finally looked up, defiance in her eyes.

“You want to have a child? Will you stay at home, changing diapers and endure all the noise and the smell? Fine, you can have that. I will carry to term and than leave the child to you! What would you think about that?”

She stared into his eyes, daring him to say something about her decision. He suddenly understood that arguing wouldn’t do any good. She simply didn’t understand his problem. Having or not having the child was not the point. But to think that she never bothered to ask for his opinion!

The more his thoughts cleared the more he realized he wanted that child. Badly. He wasn’t sure whether her offer was valid but he needed to take take his chance.

“I accept that. Take it as a job. You give birth to the child and after that I will care for it. I will have full custody. I will pay for all extra expanses the pregnancy will cause. If you want to stay at the loft until the child is born, you can move into Sandburg’s room. Otherwise, I’ll help you move out.”

Now it was her turn to look shocked. She evidently never expected him to take that offer. He could see the emotions change on her face. From shock to disbelieve, than anger, and finally pride. When she started to talk again the venom was virtually dripping in her voice.

“If you want to choose that child above me, so be it. But don’t come back later, begging me to come back, or to take care of the brat. You took your choice, now you have to live with it. You will hear from my lawyer tomorrow!”

During her last words she moved to the door and slammed it shut behind her, still yelling.

He didn’t care where she was going or if she was coming back. To think that he pushed Blair away for that bitch! And he had to admit to himself that he’d really left no other choice for his partner than to move out. He’d even gone that far to refuse to work with him. No wonder the kid finally had enough and left. And he spent his last two days in self-pity about being betrayed again. God, what an asshole he had been. He was the betrayer. He sacrificed the best friendship he ever had for this witch.

But he’d get that mess straight. He would find his guide and make up for it. He knew that he couldn’t hope for forgiveness from his friend, but he would do everything that was human possible to make things better for Blair. If he could do anything about that. Sandburg probably never wanted to hear his name again. At least he had to apologize and maybe beg for forgiveness. When he found Sandburg.
 

Part 2

He should be happy. He had a beautiful wife and his children were due any day now. His father-in-law was like the dad he always wanted to have and his job was wonderful. He was well liked in the little town they were living in and his surroundings were warm and dry, the exact opposite to Cascade. He really should be happy.

Every day it took more effort to appear happy, to act like a complete person. He wanted to feel whole again, desperately so. Every morning he stepped in front of the mirror and counted down his blessings in a loud voice, smiling. He had yet to convince himself. Every morning he stood there, saying: “I have a beautiful wife. I love my father-in-law. We will have two wonderful babies. I have a great job. I am respected and the weather is always fine.” Sometimes he changed the order of the sentences but his thoughts were every day the same: Why did Jim push me away; why did he need her and not me; why wasn’t I as good as she; why can’t I stop to hurt; did I deserve to be treated that way; was it all my fault somehow?

When his anger about Ellison’s behavior abated a little bit with every passing day his self-doubts increased. His wife had noticed pretty quickly how hard he had to work to appear happy and he finally decided to explain the whole situation to her. He knew that Jim would see that as a betrayal but he needed to be absolutely honest to his wife. He couldn’t have her thinking that he was angry with her for not telling him about the pregnancy sooner.

He was a bit shocked as he left the plane and his friend looked as if she where two months beyond term. But when she told him that he would be father of fraternal twins in about a month and a half, he was glad about it.

He always wanted to have children, even though he had stopped to look for the woman of his life when he started to work at the PD. He wasn’t even sure why he did that; maybe because he had to work so hard to keep the consequences of the dissertation fiasco as little as possible for the Sentinel. The other possibility was that he didn’t want to have a child when he was working a job as dangerous as being Jim’s partner. He had been hurt at least once a month since he started to work with Jim full time. Mostly he just needed stitches or had to have his bones set again but he really didn’t like the looks of the nurses and doctors, which grew darker every time he showed up. One nurse had gone as far as slipping an address of an organization helping victims of domestic abuse into his pocket. There was a time he used to get the nurse’s phone number that way.

When he told Jade about his research, the beginning of the friendship and its end, her agitation grew. At the end of his story she had tears in her eyes. Still, her words were controlled when she made her only comment ever about the whole story: “If that bastard ever has the nerve to show up here, I will kill him.”

And he knew that was no hollow phrase. If Jim Ellison had showed up that moment, she would have done it. From the look on her face it would have been a slow and painful death. At least he was relieved to learn that she didn’t think he was responsible for all this mess. If only he could be as convinced as she was.
 

Part 3

“What now, Jim? You know where he is and what he is doing there but what will you do now, with that knowledge?”

“I’ll ask him to come home.”

“What about his wife? You think he will leave her and come back to live in the loft with you? At least, until your child is born. After that you will need the room. Or should he sleep there with the baby? Would be practical, you wouldn’t need to get up to change diapers.”

“Simon, I don’t know, what to do! Okay? I know that I need him back here. I’ll take care of the details later.”

*That man is supposed to be my best detective. He actually expects that Sandburg will leave his new teaching job and his pregnant wife to move back to Cascade. Where he has no place to live and no job.* Ellison had clearly lost it.

“Jim, think about it for a minute. Do you really think Sandburg would leave his pregnant wife? He is not that kind of person.”

“She could move here with him. The company she works for has an office in Seattle.”

It was hopeless. Ellison didn’t listen to reason. That wasn’t exactly news. The young guide had sometimes tried to get his help to get through the thick skull of his sentinel, but he always told him that he wasn’t comfortable with the whole sentinel-guide-thing and that they should solve their problems on their own. Thinking back he realized that Sandburg hadn’t asked for help anymore, after he had ignored his concerns a few times. Maybe he was as guilty as Ellison was in the case of Sandburg’s disappearance.

“So what, Jim? What will you do now, exactly?”

“I’ll go to Australia and bring him home.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jim. I can imagine he wants to stay with his family. Do you really think you could drag his wife, who is that far advanced in her pregnancy, on board of a plane? Get real, Jim. Write him a letter or call him, but don’t raid him at home. Let him think about it. Maybe he wants to come back, but then he will tell you so. If not, you can do nothing about it. Kidnapping is still illegal. Try to convince him, beg if you must, but don’t try to force him.”

“I can’t live without him, Simon. My senses make me crazy. I can’t think straight anymore.”

“Yes, Jim, you need him. But does he need you? He abandoned you once. Do you think you could trust him anymore?”

“Dammit, Simon, I already told you it was my fault! He couldn’t do anything but leave. I left him no choice.”

“That’s exactly my point, Jim. Don’t you think he might be a little bit angry with you? Do you think he will forgive you if you press him? Beg, grovel, get down on your knees in front of him if he accepts to see you. Write him, that’s what I’ recommend.”

He could see that Ellison was finally starting to think. In his opinion the chance that Sandburg would forgive Ellison was microscopic at best. He didn’t know what precisely had happened between the two men. Jim insisted that he was to blame while Sandburg had told him he felt superfluous and went to help his friend because he was needed there.

From what they had learned the woman had simply needed someone to marry to have a father for her child. He never met her before and Ellison had never mentioned her so he doubted that Sandburg was the biological father. The kid had always been an open book; he wouldn’t be able to keep a new conquest in secret.

But he had married her, without any notice to his friends in Major Crimes. He seemed to be truly finished with his life in Cascade. All the more reason for Jim to accept the younger man’s decision.

“I will write him. He forgave me once. He will do it again.”

*Yeah. And pigs suddenly learned to fly yesterday. Sandburg is anything but stupid. He must have realized that Jim continues to fuck up. Being a smart man, he got the hell out of Dodge.* He had tried his best to get Ellison to see reason. There was not much more he could do, short of a blow to the head of that stubborn man. Violence as an option started to look better every passing moment.

“Do that, Jim. Try to be contrite, okay? And be honest.”

“I will, Simon, thank you. Do you think, you could write him, too? Sometimes it is better to hear something from a third party.”

“I’ll think about it. Now go back to work, Detective! Lunch break is over.”

“Yes. Sir!”
 

Part 4

Jason studied the letter in his hand once again. From that son of a bitch, Blair’s former sentinel. The man had nerves, daring to write his son-in-law. But, at the moment, every distraction, even a bad one, was welcome.

He knocked at Blair’s bedroom door. Receiving no answer, he moved in anyway. Blair was curled up on his bed with a pillow hugged tightly to his chest and was sobbing uncontrollably. Swallowing his own tears, he sat down on the bed beside the distraught young man and started to stroke his back gently.

“Can I do something for you, Blair? Do you want to talk? I’m a good listener.”

The miserable bundle on the bed shifted a bit and wet red eyes tried to focus. Then Blair sobbed again and threw himself into Jason’s arms. The older man hugged him tightly, rocking slightly and crooning softly to console him.

This was supposed to be a happy day for his growing family. His daughter had been so very happy about her pregnancy and even happier that Blair acknowledged his paternity gladly. Both, Blair and him, had been shocked when the doctors started to speak about complications, when the medical staff began to get increasingly frantically and when they finally had been told about the death of his daughter and the male twin.

His little granddaughter was strong and healthy. He didn’t think that Blair would have survived that blow without his little daughter. She looked very much like Jade when she was born. Jade. She didn’t even see her little girl. He turned his attention back to the crying man in his arms.

“Please, Blair, I know that you can’t eat. But try to drink something. You have to stay healthy for your little daughter. She needs you now. I will always be here for you and our little girl, but she will need you more than me.”

Blair nodded, trying to regain his composure. Then he pressed his face against Jason’s chest again. Jason continued to stroke his hair and back.

“What now, Jason? What do we do now?”

“We take care of that precious little girl, you and me together. Don’t worry about the funeral, I’ll take care of it.”

“I want no stones. I want to set their ashes free. Oh, god, Jason, I’m so sorry! She was your daughter and you know much better what she wanted, what she thought about that.”

“That’s okay, Blair. We didn’t talk much about it, but she always wanted to have her ashes set free over a river or an ocean. She loved the water so much. She wanted to be born again as a dolphin or a ray.”

He wasn’t able to hold his own tears back any longer. He had wanted his daughter to have many happy years with this wonderful man and their beautiful children. Now his granddaughter would learn about her mother from home videos, pictures and the tales he and Blair would tell her. He felt Blair’s hand stroking his shoulder. His Jade had been so incredibly lucky to find a man like him.

He remembered clearly the first time his daughter had told him about the pregnancy and Blair. He would have gone to Australia with her when she finished her studies in Cascade, but he felt obliged to stay with his partner, the same asshole that had dumped him for the first skirt that was able to work as a guide for him.

When Jade first told him about Blair’s sentinel studies he had a hard time to believe the whole concept. He was able to get a copy of Blair’s Masters thesis and learned about the dissertation fiasco. He was finally convinced that the sentinel thing was true and all what he had learned about his son’s life in Cascade had made him so damned furious with Ellison.

He looked again at the envelope he still held in his hand. Blair wasn’t able to deal with that yet. He would protect the young man from his past. Not that he would destroy the letter or hide it. He would lay it on Blair’s desk so that the young man could read it later, when he was feeling a bit better.
 

Part 5

Still no answer from Blair. His letter should have reached him at least three weeks ago. Last week he finally decided to call the private investigator again who had gathered the information about Blair’s whereabouts previously. The man was due to call him every moment now. Why was that damned phone not ringing? His guide had to answer him. Blair would never abandon him.

Finally, the phone rang.

“Ellison.”

“Hello Detective Ellison, Morris here.”

“Okay, Morris how is he? Is he alright?”

“Not really, no. His wife died, along with his son. The little girl is okay, healthy and very cute. He named her Altheda Orlee Raven Sandburg. Raven is the maiden name of his wife. He is currently living with Jason Raven and Altheda in his wife’s house. Jason Raven is his father-in-law. He is not working anymore, just taking care of his daughter. He doesn’t need to work because he inherited a big amount of money from his wife. Jason Raven is even richer. We speak about millions here. The school that employed Mr. Sandburg was donated by Jason Raven’s company. You surely heard about Raven and Crow. They have an office in Seattle as well. But I think I already told you that three weeks ago.”

“Yes, you mentioned it. Thank you. Send me the written report as soon as possible together with your invoice. Bye.”

“I will do that. Bye.”

Jim sat down, burying his face in his hands. Sandburg was clearly the most unfortunate person in the world. First he lost his academic carrier, then his friend and sentinel and finally his wife and son. His guide was a very strong man, but would he survive that last disaster?

He thought back to all the bad things his partner had to endure since he denounced his work. Simon hadn’t realized how many hassles the young man had to endure when he started at the precinct. He had heard most of them, but had let Blair deal with that on his own. In hindsight, he should have been supportive.

And than that thing with Monica. Sandburg had just found his place in the PD and finally won over the last skeptics and he had nothing better to do than pull the rug from under his feet with terminating the partnership and throwing him out of the loft.

Blair was absolutely right with not answering his letter. He should have gone to Australia like he wanted to do before Simon talked him out of it. He would do it now; maybe his presence could help Sandburg.

His decision made he called Simon to get time off. Unfortunately, he couldn’t leave the next day since Brown was on vacation and the workload was heavy. But that would not change his plans. He would go to Australia and apologize and he’d get his guide back.
 

Part 6

Blair cradled his little daughter carefully in his arms. Altheda. A good name for the little one. Healer. She certainly was that. When he heard the doctor announce the death of his wife and son, he thought about suicide. The fate had destroyed every good thing in his life. His carrier, the relationship with his mother when he started the Police Academy, his friendship with Jim and the most wonderful woman he ever met.

He fell in a deep hole of desperation. Jason did his best to dug him out, but he didn’t want to hear anything. His father-in-law finally got physical to drag him into the hospital to take his daughter home. One look into her beautiful eyes and he felt alive again. The little girl had healed his broken heart.

Altheda opened her eyes and grabbed his finger. She always felt when he was depressed and never failed to cheer him up. She pulled his finger into her little mouth and started to suck on it.

“Ooo-kay, Miss Sandburg, I have the distinct impression you want to tell me something. Let me guess. You want to go out tonight. No? Mmh, maybe you want to watch TV? Well, before we plan the evening I better feed you. Your granddaddy will be here in a few minutes, so you better not eat my finger. I’ll need all ten of them when I type his book. Yes, Altheda, your grandpa is writing a book. And if you don’t eat my finger I can type much faster.”

The little girl giggled. He knew that she was too young to understand him, but in moments like that he was convinced, that she was the smartest almost-two-months-old baby in the entire world. He carried her into the kitchen and started to prepare her bottle one-handed. She started to fuss, but calmed down when he started to feed her.

He started when he heard the doorbell. Jason had his own key. He moved to the kitchen window to see who was standing before the door. Jim Ellison. Dear god. Jim Ellison was standing at his doorstep. Blair was standing in the kitchen, unable to move or even think. The second ringing of the bell jolted him again.

He went to the front door and opened it. Jim was still standing there, so he had been no apparition. Jim smiled at the scene before him. The little girl in Blair’s arm was apparently longing for the bottle in Blair’s right hand. The young father didn’t notice it. He looked stunned, showed absolute no sign of recognition.

“Hi, Chief, I think your little daughter wants to finish her lunch.”

Blair shook his head, trying to clear his brain. He looked down at his daughter and continued feeding her. Then he realized that there was something else to do. Jim was still standing before the door, grinning at him. He motioned the older man inside, finally closing the door.

“She is beautiful, Chief.”

Blair nodded, gesturing for Jim to sit down. Jim studied the house. Big, roomy and kept in light colors. Very nice but not necessarily practical with a little kid. The front door opened directly into a living room with a big table with ten chairs, and three sofas in a U-form around a coffee table. No TV-set or other furniture. It looked like a kind of waiting room. A very nice one.

He sat down on the table as a key rattled in the lock. An older man came in, maybe in his fifties. He was as tall as Jim was, looking lean and fit. Jim recognized him from Morris’ report: Jason Raven, Sandburg’s father-in-law. They must be quite close if he had a key to Blair’s house. He was immediately jealous of the older man.

Blair went to the door to greet his second visitor. Jim’s resentment grew.

“Blair, should I come back later? I didn’t know you had a visitor.”

“No, it’s okay, Jason, please stay. This is Detective Ellison.”

“That is that oversensed asshole? What the hell is he doing here?”

“I don’t know yet. Could you take care of Altheda, please?”

“Sure thing, Blair. Give the princess to her humble servant. Come to grandpa, my little treasure.”

Blair handed the baby to his father-in-law who left the room without a second glance to Jim. Blair wasn’t really happy about Jason’s rude behavior. He was aware that he had yet to talk to Jim, but it was not because he was angry or unforgiving. He was simply stunned speechless about Ellison’s sudden appearance on his doorstep.

He cleared his throat, turning back to the table. He sat down on the opposite side of the table, trying to clear his thoughts.

“So, what brings you here? Have you been in the neighborhood? Oh, I’m sorry, can I offer you something to drink?”

“No, thank you, Chief. You told your friend about my senses?”

Well, it was nice as long as it lasted. Blair was pretty sure about the detective’s next words. How could you, I’ve trusted you, you betrayed my trust, he heard it all before. But Jim kept quiet, gave him time to answer.

“No, I didn’t. I told my wife and she told her father. You can relax, family matters stay inside the family. And no, there aren’t any other relatives who might know.”

“It’s okay, Chief. I wasn’t accusing you, I was just curios. You seem to go along fairly well.”

Jim wasn’t accusing him. Well, that was a first. The detective was still smiling, so maybe he meant what he said. Unfortunately, Blair had no sentinel-senses to determine whether the older man was lying or not. One year ago, he would have trusted the sentinel’s words. Another sign how much he had changed.

“Jason was a lifesaver. Literally. He dragged me to the hospital to see my daughter when I was absolutely shattered. He is like the father I always wanted to have.”

“Listen, Chief, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for your loss; I’m sorry how I treated you. I wish I could turn back time and change it all. I know what I did was inexcusable, but please Chief, forgive me.”

“I already did. We’re okay. Did you come around the half globe just to tell me that? A letter would have done it. Oh heaven, your letter!”

He suddenly remembered the letter he had put into his desk drawer. He wanted to read it later and forgot it completely.

“I’m sorry, really. The letter arrived the same day my wife died. I laid it aside, wanted to read it later. I’m sorry, but I forgot.”

“That’s okay, Chief. You’ve had a hard time. I wanted to apologize in person anyway. Simon convinced me to write a letter first.”

“How is Simon doing? Greet him from me when you go back. How long will you stay here, anyway?”

“One week. I’m staying at the Mercury Hotel. It’s little, but very nice.”

Blair nodded, listening for his daughter. She had just started to cry. Jim noticed that he lost the attention of the younger man.

“Why don’t you take care of your little girl? We can meet again tomorrow.”

“Okay. Can you drop by around ten a.m.? She’s usually sleeping that time of the day.”

They stood up and moved to the door. The crying grew louder.

“I’ll be here. Bye, Chief.”

“Bye. See you tomorrow.”

Blair closed the door behind the detective, relieved to see him go. Why did Jim need one week to apologize? He was wondering if Monica was staying in Cascade or waiting for Jim at the hotel. Jim had always been very big in guilt. But to follow him to another continent just to say I’m sorry? That was a bit extreme, even for Jim.

Maybe he should read the letter. But first things first. A little princess was asking for his appearance. 
 

Part 7

Altheda was finally sleeping. Jason and Blair were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee.

“That was a short visit. What did he want from you?”

“Forgiveness. Oh, that reminds me, I wanted to read his letter. Maybe that explains this surprising visit.”

He left his cup on the table and went to gather the letter. After a few moments, he came back, sat down and opened the letter. He scanned the three pages quickly.

“Well, that explains a lot. He broke up with Monica and will have to take care of their child when it’ll be born in a few months. With the chance that the kid could be a sentinel, he needs a guide to help him. He writes: ‘I’m sure that you are interested in the development of the child. You could help me care for him and gather new information.’ Do you believe that? He must have realized in the meantime that there will be no dissertation anymore. What the hell would I need the information for?”

“For your own curiosity? Or maybe you could use that knowledge to help Ellison? He seems to be pretty sure that you will be on his disposal. He must be the most selfish person ever known.”

“Not really. He can be very unselfish. I just haven’t seen this side of him for quite some time.”

“Are you angry? I know, I would be furious.”

“No, I’m not. Why should I be angry, Jason, that’s just how he is. Yes, I’m a bit disappointed and I won’t deny that. But the leopard can't change its spots and Jim will always be Jim.”

“Do you think about going back? To Cascade, I mean.”

“Are you mad? Why would I go back?”

“You have friends there. And Jim wants you back there. Jade told me how hard it was for you to be separated from him.”

“No, Jason, there is nothing that could make me go back to Washington short of you taking over the Seattle office.”

“Oh, I think Gerald is quite attached to his pet project. You’d need a crowbar to get him off his desk in Seattle.”

“CC told me he’ll be here for Christmas. Can you understand that? He leaves Seattle with all the snow to spend Christmas here in the sun?”

“He wants to spend the holydays with his family and Christine wants to be here with you and Altheda. So, we’ll have a nice Christmas with the whole family here. Gerald, Christine, you, Altheda and me.”

Blair liked Gerald Crow. He had met him only twice, at his wedding and at Jade’s funeral. Both events within a month. The two business partners had much in common. Both had lost their wives early and both had a daughter. Christine and Jade had been very good friends and Christine decided that she would take care of Jade’s family after her death. Gerald supported her decision and acted like an uncle towards Blair. He couldn’t ask for a better family.

“That is nice. Maybe we could invite Steven and Shayne too. Steven takes good care of his brother, but he is a terrible cook.”

“Why not? I’ve met Steven yesterday. He told me that Shayne made a tremendous progress since you’re tutoring him.”

“See? Another reason why I would never go back to Cascade. I made more friends here in two months than I made in Cascade in fifteen years.”

“But you made friends there. Don’t you miss them?”

“I’ve lost a lot of them over the dissertation. Only two persons knew the truth and for all the others I was a fraud and liar. Who would trust such a person?”

“Then they were no real friends. What about the kid? I know you help whenever you can. If his kid needs your help, would you leave then?”

“He knows where he finds me if he needs me. Of course I’d help him but I don’t have to be in Cascade to do that.”

“Damn right, Son!”

“No swearwords in this house, Dad. Altheda will learn her bad language at the school or from television, not from us.”

“Damn right!”

“Dad!”
 

Part 8

Five days. He had spent five days trying to convince Sandburg to return to Cascade with him. The younger man wasn’t angry with him, but determined to stay where he was. Okay, he could understand that he didn’t want to work for the police anymore but he would certainly find another job in Cascade. And his wife had left him a little fortune, so he didn’t need to work anymore.

Tending for two little children was work enough. And if his kid would be a sentinel Sandburg’s daughter could be the guide for her or him. But Blair had nearly exploded with rage as he mentioned that. What did he mean when he said his daughter wouldn’t suffer through that, anyway? Sandburg had made a few sacrifices, but so had he.

The young man remained stubborn. He told him repeatedly to give it up to try to convince him and visit Uluru or other interesting places. Now he had only two days left to come up with new arguments. But he couldn’t think of anything he hadn’t already tried.

He had to admit that most of Blair’s reasoning was valid. But why didn’t he understand that he had to stay in Cascade? He was the Sentinel Of The Great City and Blair was his shaman. So how could the kid suggest that he could move to Australia, too? He really should know better.

Maybe he should accept Sandburg’s decision. He found two guides so far, there surely were more. So, he could use the last two days to ask for advice for his recent problems and stop to waste his breath on arguing.

Time to salvage whatever was left of the friendship.
 

Part 9

“Hey, proud daddy, how are you doing?”

“Simon! Come on in! I have to dispose of that toxic waste. I can tell you, changing diapers with a sentinel nose is no fun.”

“I can imagine. It was bad for me and I have a normal nose.”

“I’ve got a new letter from Sandburg. It’s lying at the coffee table. You should read it, he has a few interesting ideas about child care.”

“Something totally offbeat, I bet. Oh, by the way, I checked your potential nannies. All but one have a clean sheet.”

He read the letter, laughing aloud about a few of Sandburg’s suggestions.

“Hey, Jim, do you think he tested his ideas on Altheda?”

“I hope not! A few of them sound downright dangerous. Not for Colin, of course, but for me.”

“I thought you two send each other e-mails every day. Why does he write letters, too?”

“He also sends me tapes. He said it is to satisfy my senses. That way I have always something that smells like him or I can listen to his voice. And guess what? It works. No more spikes and no zones. I have a long-distance guide now. And a coach on this daddy-thing.”

“I’m sure Colin will profit from it. And, did you notice any signs that he might be a sentinel?”

 “No, thank god. He seems to be perfectly normal. Blair sent me a few ideas how to test it and he agrees that my boy is a normal child. Well, exceptional good-looking and smart like his daddy, but normal.”

“The poor child! I have to mail to Blair about your hallucinations. He surely has a clue how to get you back to earth.”

Jim only laughed. He took two beers from the fridge and grabbed a bag of chips. The game would start in a few minutes and he had hope that Colin would sleep through it.

“You’re just jealous, Simon.”

“Jealous, my ass!”

“Watch your language! No swearwords in hearing range of my boy!”

“Would that be your sleeping, four-months-old son?”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, Jim. Your beer, your rules.”

“You can bet your ass on it!”
 

The End


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